THIRTY THREE

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I'm outside.

I text Jesse this time.
I was stood outside of the coffee shop in the lane, leaning against the wall.

Jesse came down just as quickly as Eden.
"Are you okay, Cova?" He asked.
I nodded. I wasn't ready to say anything yet. I wasn't brave enough.
"Do you want a smoke?" He asked, pulling a joint out of his pocket.
"Yeah. I do." I answered, relieved.

We smoked for a few minutes. We were both sat on the concrete in the lane.
Jesse passed me the joint and then broke the silence.
"Hey, I'm sorry about that in the classroom the other day. I didn't need to get so angry. It was stupid." He shrugged.
"It's fine. I understand." I looked at the emotional look in his eyes and spoke again. "And I'm sorry for shutting you out. Sometimes things are just easier with Eden. More simple, I guess."
"But why? Can you explain why?" I could tell Jesse was looking for some deep and long explanation as to why I felt like that, but I knew it was shorter than he'd expect.
I took a deep breath before being honest with myself for a second time that night.
"Because I think I'm in love with you." I admitted.
Jesse's eyes were wide and his breath seemed paused. It took him a few long seconds before replying to what I'd said.
"Cova. I know I'm in love with you." He sighed.

I couldn't believe it. I never thought I'd hear them words come out of Jesse's mouth. He seemed so vulnerable, his walls had dropped, I felt so warm.

I immediately grabbed him and pulled him into me and we sunk into each other.
He was the perfect mixture of dominant and gentle and I grabbed onto him with every fibre of me, not wanting to let him go.

We collapsed on his bed once we'd both finished, both giggling.
"So what now?" I shrugged.
"Well, I think we're together." He raised his eyebrows almost like he didn't believe it himself.
I laughed. "What?" He questioned.
"You're my boyfriend." I continued laughing as I nudged him playfully.
"Oh, shut up." He nudged me back and then climbed on top of me.
"I'm glad you're my boyfriend." I didn't laugh this time despite the word feeling so unnatural.
"I'm glad I'm yours." He smiled.

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