mystery hotline. [ nct ]

[ four ]

JOBLESS HOES CLUB
haechan, aneko, kitty, ace, moonie, +5 more

ANEKO:
how come nobody messaged after haechan said 'mark'
yuta??? what does that mean???

MYSTERY BOT:
hello all!
this is yuta's boyfriend, sicheng
he's currently being reprimanded for breaking the rules, but i can answer that question!

MOONIE:
yes pls we are all curious

ACE:
spill the tea sicheng!!!

MYSTERY BOT:
mark is bambi's real name

HAECHAN:
WOO HOO MY BOYFRIENDS NAME IS CUTE AS F U C K
AND HES FOREIGN
THIS IS A WIN ON MY END

ANEKO:
so now we have 2 people's real names and we are only 4 days in
that's good right?? sicheng is this faster than others have done it??

MYSTERY BOT:
oh HELL yeah
we didn't figure out anyone's real names until the unmasking ceremony in our year
we still keep in touch with everyone and we still have a groupchat and often we will accidentally call each other by our fake names
just yesterday jaemin called me winwin 😔

AUTUMN:
fake friends </3

WHITE:
jaehyun why weren't you at school??

AUTUMN:
i had a cold i'm so sorry :(
i really wanted to see you but i threw up and i couldn't risk getting you sick 🥺

WHITE:
it's okay, just stay healthy

MYSTERY BOT:
... 😳

AUTUMN:
SICHENG

WHITE:
SICHENG

MYSTERY BOT:
actually i have to go water my boyfriend-

AUTUMN:
EXPLAIN NOW

MYSTERY BOT:
yuta told you it wouldn't be that easy 🤚
he didn't lie

AUTUMN:
omfg

FLASH:
ey watch your language the baby is here

ACE:
which baby? kitty or bambi?

MOONIE:
mark* dumbass

ACE:
sorry babe 🤧

ANEKO:
i will pay you 50 bucks moonie
f i f t y b u c k s
if you just admit it to him

MOONIE:
NEVER
FUCK YOU
EY FLASH AND KITTY
HOW ARE YOU GUYS DOING

FLASH:
we aren't completely sure if we are paired
since the feeling really blends in
it's like immense happiness?? but we aren't sure if it's the pair thing or it's something else

KITTY:
yeah 🥺

ANGEL:
sicheng sweetie

MYSTERY BOT:
back away slowly - yuta

ANGEL:
wOAh i was just gonna ask if i could have any hints as to who my pair is-
no need to get aggressive 🤚🤚

MYSTERY BOT:
sorry yuta stole the phone because he was reading over my shoulder
i can't give you any obvious hints, but i can give you vague hints that will bother you for the rest of your life before you figure it out

ANGEL:
perfect!! just what i want during exams 🤩🤩
do tell

MYSTERY BOT:
the person you are paired with holds an extreme infatuation with you already

FLASH:
wow way to call out neko like that

ANEKO:
HEY >:(
STOP BULLYING ME
anyways pls my life is so dead this is the most interesting thing to happen to me in my entire history of living
oh wait
that one time when my deadbeat mom came to my door

ANGEL:
w h a t
what happened?? is everything okay now??

ANEKO:
yeah, thankfully
my dad yelled at her and told her to fuck off because we didn't want to be anywhere near her

MOONIE:
aneko... 🥺

MYSTERY BOT:
can we please get onto a lighter topic, can we PLEASE GET ONTO A LIGHTER TOPIC 🤧🤚

ANEKO:
can we talk about how i saw this cute boy with his shirt off today while dancing?
WHY DO I EVEN LIKE MEN HE LOOKED HOT AND I DONT LIKE IT 😔

WHITE:
i was shirtless today at school-
when i was practicing in the auditorium

ANEKO:
this just in! i retract everything i just said jaehyun🅱️lsdontkillme

AUTUMN:
i'll think about it 😤

MYSTERY BOT:
w o w you guys have 2 names and 1 sighting so far... MY YEAR COULD NEVER
JAEMIN AND JENO LITERALLY FUCKED WITHOUT KNOWING THAT THEY WERE SOULMATES-

FLASH:
eye-
your year sounds like it was filled with a bunch of idiots

MYSTERY BOT:
oh yes
yes it was
i think the worst and most fucking idiotic one was the fact that chenle's mother was jisung's science teacher and the fact that they met MANY times and let slip m a n y things and yet still didn't figure each other out 😔

MOONIE:
yknow what aneko
i've decided to say fuck it and tell him
because i can't keep this a secret forever

ANEKO:
YESBYEYESYESKSHSBS

MOONIE:
AYE DUMBFUCK @ ACE

ACE:
is this me??? being called on by moonie??? what a rare and wonderful occasion this must be 🤧

MOONIE:
not for me
anygays
YOU'RE MY SOULMATE BITCH

MOONIE WENT OFFLINE