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"Baby! Come here! Look at the sea!" Bright sunlight and heated environment surrounds Doyoung. Annoying sand on his butt and legs from sitting on the sand for a long time. Big, and heavy umbrella covering him from the blazing sun.

Doyoung grins at his boyfriend, Jaehyun, the one on white that is now becoming translucent because of the water, Who is shouting while tackling Mark and Jungwoo on the sea.

"No way!! It's way too hot out there!!" He shouted at his boyfriend while fixing his way too big shades. He just finished applying tons of moisturizer and different creams with spf in his body, but he still didn't want to risk it. God knows how red and sensitive his skin becomes after a long time under the sun.

He can see Jaehyun pouting then having a wrestling fight with Jungwoo. Mark, completely forgotten, is holding his dear life with Donghyuck who's trying to drown him. He giggled at the sight.

'Ahh, life is good like this.' Doyoung thought.

Except, life is not always the way we want.

He was about to stand up to go to their rented Airbnb but a tall shadow and familiar voice stopped him "Drinks?" Just the sound of his voice makes Doyoung's mood drop. Oh, he knows this voice well. All too well.

he sighed and sat back at the sand again. "Johnny I told you to stay away from me." Doyoung said at the taller without thinking. He immediately regret his choice of words and for sounding rude but now is not the time to apologize.

"Nothing's wrong with offering you a drink doie we're friends." Johnny said mockingly and sat beside Doyoung under the big umbrella.

Doyoung sighed and distanced himself from Johnny like he is a disgusting being. "Stop calling me that please, just don't come near me. I still want to fix this. We can still fix what we did. I don't want to ruin anything between Jae or me. Or to the both of you. You're still relatives for god's sake." He feels sorry for being like this towards Johnny. Poor Johnny did nothing but care for him. He looked at Jaehyun who is still playing at the sea with their friends.

"I'm gonna head in" Doyoung stood up and walked away from Johnny who's just staring at the abandoned drink he offered.

---------------

Doyoung didn't know he is already inside the airbnb when a voice interrupted his thoughts.

"Dons? Back so early? Thought you'd be skinny dipping?"

Yuta, his bestfriend whom he met when they are still babies. He doesn't know what would happen to him without Yuta.

"Well, me having a tan is a nightmare so, no." Doyoung smiled weakly

"Everything okay?" Yuta asked worriedly to his bestfriend. Knowing Doyoung for years, Yuta already knows how he thinks.

'I wish.' Doyoung thought.

Doyoung chuckled and shakes his head, "Of course! Always okay. I'm good. Just sleepy I guess?"

Yuta, who didn't believe the lie, decided to let it go and grins "That's good! I'm gonna rest a little bit too. Didn't sleep a blink last night."

Both of them walked to Yuta's room and coddled themselves in the pillows. Half an hour flew but Doyoung still couldn't sleep.

"I swear dons, one more toss and turn I would decapitate you."

"Sorry yu, did I wake you?"Doyoung asked, looking at his back but only seeing Yuta's back who is under the covers.

"No, just can't fall asleep because of your heavy thoughts"

"Sorry...." Doyoung bit his lip for being guilty.

'Come on Doyoung, Yuta is tired and couldn't sleep because of you. Stop being annoying' Doyoung thought

"..." Yuta just sighed as an answer. Minutes passed, no one dared to talk but he is aware that Yuta is still awake.

Doyoung is nervous. He don't know why, but he just is. Weird as it may sound but, he thinks Yuta knows something.

"Is it about them?" Yuta asked. Doyoung's eyes widened but played innocent as he hugged the pillow tighter and answered "about who?"

"You know who Doyoung."

Doyoung bit his lip as he felt a tear streaming on his cheeks.

'He did know.' Doyoung thought.

"Since when?" Doyoung asked. And as if Yuta knows what he is asking, he answered "just last week, you were drunk. You do know you're quite chatty when you're wasted right?"

"I'm sorry..." Doyoung said as he tried to stop a sob.

"It's not me you should be sorry you know."

"D-did you....?" Doyoung tried to ask but failed as he couldn't think of anything right to say at the moment. Mind overwhelmed with thoughts.

"Did I tell them? No, I thought it would be better to let you do it."

"I'm sorry" Doyoung bit his lip as he stared at his scar filled wrist.

"Can you tell me why?"

Doyoung knows Yuta is trying to make everything as calm as he can. But Doyoung also knows he is mad at what he did. Maybe at what he did with Johnny or himself.

"I-I just...I'm scared"

Despite the deep talk, the two are still coddled in Yuta's bed, backs facing.

"Of?"

"Of everyone leaving me."

"You know we won't right?"

"I-I know...It's just that, we're all busy with work and would eventually have our own lives, own family. Taeyong isn't here because he's taking care of his husband. Mark and Hyuck have new friends same aged as them. A-And I was scared that when Jaehyun flies back to connecticut he would find someone better than me. He already is busy getting that promotion. He barely has time for me." Doyoung paused and took a deep breath while trying to stop his tears from falling. "I was scared that no one would stay beside me, that would be with me. Because honestly, I think I'm going to die by myself. I-I don't wanna live alone. I-I'm scared that I might do a big mistake." He continued.

"Dons, you know nothing big would change even after we got married right? We would still randomly pop out your apartment to eat and watch movies. We would still go on surprise vacations or trips just like right now! Maybe not as usual as we do, but heck, we were just bored and decided to go to Jeju. We would still be us. We're family Doyoung. You're my family. We got each other's backs." Yuta said assuringly. Thinking if he should face Doyoung or not. Because honestly, he might cry at the sight of Doyoung breaking down again. The sight is just too familiar to him.

"I know yu....I know. I just can't help to think about the things that is not far from happening. I feel like one day when I wake up, everything is gone. Everyone left. And I felt like I have to do something for it not to happen. B-but I just made it worst. I was being selfish. I badly want Jaehyun's attention but I know I can't because I might distract him from work. I really want him to get that promotion. He worked so hard everyday for it. You are all busy with your own lives and Johnny is the only one who has free schedule. Because of that, I started hanging out with Johnny...A-and things just...things just...suddenly became complicated. I-I feel like I used Johnny...wait-no-I did used Johnny. I'm so fucked. I know how he truly feels about me. A-And I dragged him into my problem. Now he has to suffer too. I-I just thought that maybe...maybe if I have Johnny, I wouldn't be miserable if Jaehyun did find someone better than me. Or if he completely focused his attention else where." Doyoung sobbed as he clutch on the pilow and buried his face on it.

"Doyoung I love you but do you realize that you just made the both of them an option so that you wouldn't suffer right? dons, did you ever consider how would Jaehyun feel if he finds out about this? Or did you ever know how Johnny feels about being a second option? I know you're not like this. You're thoughts are eating you up. You should've just told me about this. I could've helped you. 'We' could've helped you. Everything would be shit if anyone finds out. Jaehyun loves you so much dons. So so much. I see it through more than half of my life. If only you told him, he would gladly make time for you." Yuta sighed and sat up in the edge of the bed while staring at the view of the sea. "Doyoung I want you to talk to Jaehyun today. He's been telling us about proposing to you. It might be tonight. Talk to him before things became worse." He stood up and sighs "As if this is not already worst" he whispered and got out of the room, leaving Doyoung.

Doyoung just bawled out even more.

'He's proposing?'

-------

It was already night and the group of friends are now having dinner in an outdoor restaurant beside the wild and violent sea, heavy atmosphere could be seen as Johnny, Yuta and Doyoung are not in the mood.

"Look at how strong the waves are, aigoo and you want to go for a night swim?" Doyoung said and glared at Donghyuck who just sheepishly grinned

"I didn't know this sea is high tide!!!" Donghyuck protested as he pouted.

"Yooo hyungs, it would be our last night today! Let's enjoy and stop being like--like sappy teens!" A flushed Mark slurred as he took another sip on his 'Apple Juice' while a very very very drunk Jungwoo giggled while playing with his phone.

"Hyuck, I told you not to give Mark that drink. His tolerance is low." Doyoung said as he tried to remove the glass in Mark's hand.

Donghyuck rolled his eyes and points at Jaehyun who chokes on his wine.

"Your 'hubby' here gave that to Markie and told him its unharmed"

Jaehyun glares at Donghyuck because of the 'hubby' innuendo and looked at him with a 'shut-up-or-i-will-throw-you-to-the-sea' look. The latter just sticked his tongue out on him.

Jaehyun cleared his throat and wraps his arm on Doyoung's waist nervously "On my defense, Johnny told him it was an Apple Juice for adult-"

Johnny butt in, "And he is an adult"

"-Yeah, see? Johnny told mark." Jaehyun winked at Doyoung who just huffed and scrunches his nose in disgust "you're gonna get drunk at this point jae stop that wine I know you mixed something strong there."

Yuta snickered and stood up not taking the scene "I'm gonna bring Jungwoo up the room." He grunted when Jungwoo carelessly rode his back and hugged his neck.

"Well, I'm gonna go in before Mark pass out too." Johnny announced as he helped Mark, who's slurring drunk words from walking. "No hyuuuuung like-like my juice is alone! Wanna give juice company"

Jaehyun grins 'everything's going well in the plan' he thought. He kicked Donghyuck's feet who's busy using his phone "ouch hyung what the f--"

"Words, Donghyuck." Doyoung squints his eyes on Donghyuck

"-lute. What the flute hyung." Donghyuck fake smiled at Doyoung while kicking Jaehyun back. Jaehyun glares at him and eyed Johnny and Mark like he is telling Donghyuck to go with them telepathically.

The youngest just rolled his eyes and cleared his throat. "a-ah ouch! Ouch! Whoo, my fee--head hurt! I think I'm drunk?....f-from the sea breeze--yeah!! Whoo gotta go in now, bye hyungs." Donghyuck chuckled and nervously got up and started his way on their rented Airbnb "gOODLUCK WOOJAE HYUNG!!!! DON'T BE DUMB!" Donghyuck giggles and ran.

Doyoung 'tsk-ed' and shakes his head in disappointment "when did hyuck became so bad at making excuse"

Jaehyun smirks and brings Doyoung closer to him using his arms on the latter's waist. Doyoung responded to the skinship and leaned on his boyfriend's shoulder. "Beats me." His boyfriend said

Doyoung suddenly remembered what Yuta said

"Doyoung I want you to talk to Jaehyun today. He's been telling us about proposing to you. It might be tonight. Talk to him before things became worse."

'Oh, yeah.....I'm sorry jae...' Doyoung thought

"Jae?"

"Hmm?"

"Can we walk in the shore?"

"Anything my bunny wants."

They started walking barefoot in the shore. Strong sea waves and a very faint party music is the only sound they could hear. No one dared to talk. One is because he's just happy and nervous on what he's about to do. And the other, nervous and sad about what he's about to say. Doyoung being the latter.

"Jae/babe" they both said at the same time.

Jaehyun chuckled and interwined their fingers with the hand that is not occupied carrying his and Doyoung's slippers. "Bottoms first"
It was silent for a moment. Jaehyun waited for his boyfriend to say something. But the shorter did nothing but stare at their clasped hands. "hey, are you okay?" Jaehyun stopped walking and faced Doyoung.

"yes, Jae. I was just thinking of work" Doyoung lied.

"your students spreading rumours on you again??" Jaehyun asked worriedly, believing the lie. Doyoung just smiled and muttered a small 'no'

They continue walking along the shore. Jaehyun, giving his jacket to Doyoung. "I remember the time our dorm heater wouldn't work and we spent christmas freezing." Jaehyun chuckled, remembering their first christmast spent together without their parents

"We were, what--18? so young and shy to each other that time. I had to get you drunk to confess to me." Doyoung continued.

"And it was my first time getting drunk. I got so drunk that I forgot we confessed to each other the next morning. You were sulky and mad, you didn't talk to me for a week." Jaehyun chuckled as he can clearly remember Yuta punched the hell outta him for being a jerk and forgetting his confession to his supposedly boyfriend.

"That was the only punch I'm glad I received." Jaehyun felt Doyoung's free hand on his side lip "It kinda looked hot on you, yeah." Jaehyun answered him with a wink and a blushing ears.

"Remember when you cried so much because we're not classmates for college anymore?"

Doyoung, Jaehyun and Yuta have been friends since Middle year. The trio have always been together. Nothing and no one could separate them. Despite the huge difference on Doyoung and Jaehyun's interests, Jaehyun liking sports, Doyoung hating it. Doyoung liking books, Jaehyun hating them. Jaehyun liking the summer, Doyoung liking the winter. Yuta coming in between of them. They remained inevitable and worked their way out of juinior highschool together. Before they started college they met Jaehyun's 3rd cousin from Chicago, Johnny. The big fluff eventually won their hearts and became close to them. On their way through out college, they met wonderful people and trusted friends. They became each other's parent, sibling, friend and soul mate. They leaned on each other on their difficulties and challenges on pursuing their dreams. They created priceless memories with each other that Doyoung treasured a lot. He just doesn't know why he still feels like everyone is not enough for him.

"I just realized, If I convinced my mom not changing schools for Middle year, I would've never met you and Yuta." Jaehyun chuckled and pulled Doyoung in a sudden hug that stilled the smaller.

"I am so glad mother is stubborn enough to convince me and my dad. I met my other half. I love you so much Kim Dongyoung you have no idea. I would swim this sea in front of us to get to your island. I would work myself up to catch a star for you. I would bring you everywhere you wanted and mark the place with our love."
Doyoung closed his eyes tight shut to prevent tears from falling. He hugged his boyfriend back as he listened to everything Jaehyun has to say.

"because of you, I am a better person. You made me strong. And you made me believe in myself. I am Jung Jaehyun now because of you Kim Dongyoung. You made me the person I am today. I know we reached our dreams together. And we solved our problems together. But you, You are my dream. You are what I wish for. You are my biggest dream that I have yet to achieve." Doyoung clenched his jaw and hugged Jaehyun tighter.

'why are you making it so hard for me Jae?'

-----------------

The glaring sunlight directed on his face is what Jaehyun woke up to.

White Night | J.jh & K.dy [COMPLETED]Where stories live. Discover now