Guardian (Nishinoya x Reader) 🏐

Chapter 5: SugaMomma

*The next morning*
*Suga's POV*

Y/N didn't eat at all yesterday and this morning at breakfast, she skipped again. When the team asked why she wouldn't have breakfast, she looked really anxious, lightly scratching at her skin, darting her eyes around the dining hall. Yet, she easily played it off saying she's not hungry in the mornings, but I know something else is up. She wasn't her normal cheerful, energetic self. She looked tired. Drained. Empty.

After breakfast, I pulled Y/N to the side. "Hey, dear. Sorry to pull you away from your work, but I have a quick question for you."

"Alright shoot," she said still smiling.

"I noticed you didn't eat yesterday," I started, "or this morning," I raised an eyebrow at her. "By the way things are going, it's looking like you won't eat this whole trip."

Her smile dropped as she became visibly pale and meek when she spoke her next words, "W-w-w-what a-are you talking about, S-Suga?" She gulped hard. Caughtcha.

"Y/N," I spoke cooly, "you don't need to lie to me. You can tell me if something is bothering you." I rested my hand on her shoulder and bent down a little to look her in the eyes.

"I-I'm sorry to trouble you Suga. I-I just have a little trouble eating with a large group of people and in an unfamiliar place," she spoke shakily as I noticed tears brimming her eyes.

I pulled her in for a hug, gently wrapping my arms around her delicate body, afraid she might break if I squeeze too tight. "Y/N-Chan, is this why Kageyama doesn't let you walk home alone?" I asked, connecting the pieces together in my brain.

With her back against the wall, Y/N slid to the floor and I sat down next to her, still wrapping one arm around her tiny waist as she rested her head on my shoulder.

"I have issues normally with eating and abuse of exercise," she spoke shyly, letting out a few gasps as she managed to hold back tears. "It's a thing with body image and feeling like I have a sense of control even if everything else is chaotic."

I felt a a few warm tears drop from her face to my shoulder. I leaned over to wipe them off her cheeks with my thumb before speaking again, "Do you think you have an eating disorder?" I asked lightly, hoping I wasn't overstepping any boundaries.

She let out a sigh, "I know I have an eating disorder. It was probably activated from cutting weight for martial arts. I was diagnosed with anorexia a few months ago, but I haven't been able to make much progress, since my parents won't acknowledge that I'm struggling. I'm just lucky to have Tobio to support me. Without him, I don't know where I'd be..." her voice trailed off in sorrow.

"My sister," I choked on my words a bit, "My sister had bulimia. I-I was the one who found out. One day, I found her in the bathroom throwing up when she thought no one was home. She was so ashamed, but she couldn't control her actions. Not alone. That day she cried and cried and cried. I just held her in my arms and told her I'd be there to support her. Together we were able to conquer her fears. Our parents didn't understand either, but with me and the help of a lot of her friends, she got through it. The more support and the more more love she showed herself, the easier it became to overcome."

She stared at me intently, absorbing every word I spoke, "So I guess that's why I can spot eating disorders a lot more easily," I spoke calmly, rubbing the back of my neck.

"I'm sorry you had to go through that Suga-San. It must've been hard. I've never had to deal with bulimia before, only restrictive eating disorders, but I can image they both hold the same weight and pain. Both used to cover up an underlying trauma or self conscious core belief," she spoke it all quietly and intelligently. I can tell just by looking in her deep blue eyes, she's been through so much and so much that's probably never been spoken. Painful memories only she holds.

I fully wrapped my arms around her again, "I'll support you too Y/N-Chan," I whispered.

Pulling away I asked, "Does anyone else know?"

"Tobio and Noya," she stated solemnly. Her brother made sense, but I was honestly really surprised about Noya. However, after seeing how cute those two were on the bus... maybe it made sense.

"How does telling one more person sound, hmm?" I asked politely, "That way four people know. At lunch and dinner, we can all sit with you at the end of a table, that way it may be more comfortable for you to eat. Being surrounded by a group of supportive people and out of the spotlight."

"It's been hard enough just confessing to you three. I'm not good at being this vulnerable yet, but I appreciate the support I have been provided with so far," she responded.

I thought for a second, "How about we have Hinata sit with us. His energetic attitude could boost your mood and he's not particularly bright, so he probably won't catch onto you struggling with eating."

She flashed me a light smile, "That could work."

"Lets make a deal," I spoke, "if you don't eat today, you have to lay in bed and rest through the Nekoma game tomorrow."

"WHAT NO!" Tears started pouring down her face again.

"Hey hey hey," I tried to calm her down, taking her reddened, tear stained face in my hands, "All I'm asking of you is to eat just a little bit today. We'll all be there to support you. We just want to see you healthy again. Remember that."

Her facial expression turned into a pout. Since my hands were still on her face, I squished her cheeks, intensifying the cute little pout. "You're mean, SugaMomma," she mumbled out.

I removed my hands from her face, stunned. "What did you just call me?" I asked surprised.

"You heard me," she spat, sticking her tongue out teasingly. "Suga-Mom-Ma," she smirked at me.

I just laughed and shook my head. We stood up to head off to practice, even though we were definitely beyond late.

"You're just more of a mom than my mom is," she spoke, "it's not a bad thing that I call you a mom. It's just nice to know someone cares enough to treat me that way," she gave me an enduring smile that warmed me to the core.

I'm sorry you've hurt for so long. I will care for you. We will care for you. Even if it means acting like a SugaMomma.

———
*A/N: I used some personal experiences for this chapter.

When I went out of the country for an elite training trip, I didn't eat for two and a half days. The coach and assistant coach noticed. On the second night of practice, I was benched from almost passing out. But then I made a deal with the coach that I'd eat breakfast the next morning or I'd be banned from training the next day. (Long story short, I ate breakfast the next day and everyone noticed how much stronger I was fighting)

Second, this talk I wrote between Suga and Y/N was based after a talk I had with an upperclassman teammate when I first started college. We were at collegiate nationals. She took me outside and we sat on a bench. She asked me if I thought I had an eating disorder and I told her briefly about my story and how I found out my diagnosis while studying abroad. At this time I hadn't told many people about it because I was still getting used to reaching out for support. But then she told me about her story with Bulimia and how she's in a much better place.