Second Chances

Justin.

                 She's gone. I can't believe she's gone. I know that I'm the reason. I lost her because I got weak. She was the love of my life. I must get her back. I can't live without her. Everywhere I look, I still see her. I broke her. I really broke her. She didn't deserve what I did to her. It's all my fault but I will do everything I can to get her back. My thoughts get interrupted when someone says "Excuse me, sir". "Sorry," I say back and move towards my car. Looking at my phone, I see her again in my wallpaper. Her eyes were full of hope and joy but when I remember her face when she saw me with Miya or when we saw each other at the airport...her eyes were full of disappointment and sadness, heartache and hatred. I call Michael. "Hey. Is Rachel with you?" Michael says." No....uh...Can we meet at my home now?" I answer. "Sure but you need to come to work now. I know you are not in the greatest mood but we need you here urgently." "You're kidding, right?" I sigh"Okay...Okay, I'm coming." Arriving at the company, I remember Rachel's face again but again it was never out of my mind since she left the company. 

                 Going into the company, every face I look at, all I see is Rachel's face. "Mister Justin, can you please look at this file?" an employee says. "Mister Justin, I sent you an email, can you check it and see if I should send it to our customer or edit it again?" another employee says but I ignore them and go into my room but I  hear Michael saying " Send the file with me and I will look at the email and tell him about it." He goes into the office, "Can you tell me what the hell did you do to Rachel?" Michael says. " I messed up really bad Michael, really, really bad," I say getting a bottle of bourbon and pour a cup for myself. I gesture a cup to Michael and he tells me no. "Messed up how? What the fuck did you do?" He says angrily. " I had an affair with ...." I say taking a sip from the cup. "With whom? Had a fucking affair with whom?" He asks angrily. " I had an affair with Miya but it had been going for less than a week and I was gonna end it today." "And how did she find out? And if you were going to end it today, what happened that made Rachel leave like that? She was....she was as if she was just a body moving but inside nothing but blood passing through her veins. Her mind & her heart were in somewhere else." Michael says. " I fucking kissed her," I say angrily smashing the cup at the wall. " I was going to end it when I got weak again and kissed her again. I didn't even know that Rachel was here. She told me that she would pass by but not that early." I smash everything all around me while talking." Can you calm the fuck down? Everyone is looking at you and it's enough drama for today really! " I calm a little and then he continues after a minute or two saying " Wait a minute! Was the problem really that you didn't know that Rachel was coming?! Not that you are a fucking idiot! You don't deserve her! And you say that anyone who cheats doesn't deserve to love or not be loved but you go do the opposite of what you said." "Is this supposed to make me feel better or what? If you won't say something to help in this fucking crisis, let me go home, and if you wanna come, come" I head towards the office door.

                 He stands in front of me, " Okay okay, Wait". I sigh angrily. "Sit the fuck down. Let's work and then we can go to your house and talk all about it and see how to get things better" he says. "Okay. What was so urgent that I needed to come to work and could not be sent by email?" I say while sitting on the couch. Michael starts to tell me that we have a problem with one of our customers but all my mind is still with Rachel. I'm worried about her when she's just away from me for one second although she is in the same country as me and now that she is far far away from here, I'm more worried as ever. I think I will go mad. "Are you with me?" Michael says interrupting my thoughts. "Yeah, yeah. You can look at the file and I know that whatever choice you'll make will be what I would have taken." I say. " What is this file? Can you say again?" I ask him about a different file. "Laura sent this with me and said that Rachel reviewed it and she told her to review it with us too...something like that" Michael says. I look at the file and in a beat, I smell her scent as if she's right next to me. I didn't notice that I was smelling the file when Michael interrupts with snapping his fingers at me. I look at him and then read the file and give it to him. After he finished looking at it, "So...I think that it's amazing. What about you?" he says. "Yeah, yeah... it is great. Let's send it to them and if they would like to adjust something they will tell us." I say.