rainbows

twenty four

I scream looking at the plain wall in front of my face. Fuck her. How can somebody be so full of themselves? I was just helping her. I move my eyes around the room trying to find something to break, my gaze falls on a lamp sitting in the corner of the room.

I run towards it, picking it up I slam it into the wall, once, twice, thrice. I slam it thinking of Lexi, I slam it thinking of mom and dad, I slam it thinking of Jordyn, I slam it thinking of college, I slam it thinking of my body, I slam it thinking of Ryan. Fuck it. The sound getting louder each time like my scream. The lamp shatters and falls onto the floor. I kick it with my foot and walk to my bed.

"Alyssa! Open your door!" Mom screams from outside.

"Shutup!" I shout back at her and doze off to sleep. Fuck everyone and everything. I'm better off alone.
I like it this way.

A loud ringing is coming from beside me. I reach out in its direction, it's my phone. I open my eyes, somebody's calling me. Ugh. I squint my eyes to look at it clearly, it's an unknown number. I flip the number and throw my phone on the other end. It's just eleven something AM.

Why would somebody in their right mind call me at this time? Why would anybody in their mind call me?

I huff rubbing my eyes. My right arm feels numb. I rub my arm as I sit up straight with my head leaning on the headboard. I probably slept on it and cut my blood circulation. Today's morning happenings hit me leaving me to groan. I shouted on mom too, not that I regret.

I slowly get up from the bed and walk in the bathroom to take a shower. My stomach growls as I start music not feeling to drown myself in my raw thoughts so early. Stripping down I take my time relaxing my muscles under the hot water. It feels so pleasing.

I don't know how much time passes as I relax but a knock on my door brings me back to reality.

"Lyss?" Lexi speaks. I roll my eyes turning off the shower as I wrap the towel around my body.

"Lyss?!" She asks again, a little louder this time.

"Coming!" I shout stepping in my room as I walk towards the door to open the door.

"What?" I asked rolling my eyes as I look at her. Her hair is neatly tied back and there's not a single thing that can make you think she bawled her eyes out a few hours ago.

"Doris was asking what you want for breakfast?" She asks looking behind me.

"I don't know, anything" I shrug as I close the door on her face but her leg's fast and she stops it midway.

"What?!" I shout at her.

"I have a question." She says rolling her eyes.

"Get it over with." I nod as I turn back to find some clothes.

"There's an art competition this weekend, the one in which I participate every year at the art gallery." She starts.

"Yeah okay. I don't care." I reply taking out a black baggy t-shirt that has baby Yoda's face on it and boyfriend jeans.

"You won't come to it?" She asks her voice laced with hurt. The good actor she is.

"No." I scoff. I have other things to do, well maybe not but I don't want to go somewhere filled with the public and strangers I don't know. I don't have the energy for that bullshit.

"Fine!" She stomps her feet as she goes out of my room.

Why would she even think I would go? I never go.
I wear my clothes and walk over to my phone. There are two missed calls from the unknown number. I immediately block it and look through my emails. Nothing new. I bite my nails as I think of the possibilities. Shutup Alyssa, you still have one choice. My subconscious reminds me and I take a deep breath.