if i told you | muke

40 ► Missing

I hadn't heard of him after that. The next day I had texted him to ask if he was alright, though he didn't reply. I thought that maybe his father had taken his phone from him again, but as soon as it was Christmas eve I still hadn't heard anything. No text, no call, not even a simple message on Facebook.

I tried to calm myself down time after time but the fact that he was under the same roof with such a kind of man freaked me out constantly. Christmas evening was cosy, at least that's what anyone would call it if they were there. The entire family was over, the sound of talking and laughter had filled the room the entire evening. The Christmas tree looked stunning in the corner of the living room and my mum had decorated the rest of the house with warm Christmas lights and candles. Though I couldn't enjoy it, the thought of Michael and his dad haunted me continuously. All I ever wanted for Michael was to be safe, and he wasn't. But what could I do?

The next day I called him after a few text messages which he left unanswered. I sat on my bed, even more worried than the day before. I almost yelled out his name as soon as I heard his voice again after half a week, though soon to notice it was automated.

"Hello, Michael here," I heard his cheery voice. I groaned to myself, why didn't he just pick up? "I'm currently not available, as you might have already noticed. You can leave a text or a voice message if you want to. I might call you back if I think you're worth my time. Bye!" Beep.

"Hey Mikey," I spoke into the phone. "I'm sorry for spamming you, but I'm just worried. Please let me know if you're doing well. Merry Christmas, by the way! Call me back."

I bit my lip as I pressed the red button. I let my phone slide out of my hands onto my pillow, my head soon following beside it. I didn't mind that it was somewhere in the afternoon, I just didn't feel like doing anything. At least, not without my Mikey. I closed my eyes, my head was aching and felt heavy due to the stress. I felt terrible.

Another day without him passed. Christmas was cliché and just like all other years. I couldn't enjoy it without Michael. Even though I kept telling myself I should stop thinking about him, I couldn't.

I soon found myself waking up on Boxing Day to the sound of my phone, indicating a text message. I wasted no time running over to grab it, stumbling and almost tripping over my own feet. I quickly unlocked it, cheeks heated up from the nervousness. Disappointment burned inside of me as soon as I saw it wasn't Michael.

From: Calum
Hey mate do you feel like hanging out today? :)

I was about to decline, though realised that distraction could be good for me at that point. So I texted him back that I'd be there in about half an hour even though I felt like a zombie.

I had to drag myself to the shower, only taking five minutes to wash myself and climb out again. In the mirror I saw a tired face, not only physically but mentally as well. I sighed and turned around to grab a towel, not wanting to look at that stranger in the mirror any longer. It was a lonely stranger.

The whole world was covered in white. The pavement, roads, trees, rooftops and the sky. The snow was still falling and the absence of any wind gave it a calm look. It was beautiful, though I had to hurry my way to Calum's before my ass would freeze off.

"Merry Christmas! - whoa, are you okay?" he asked worriedly, meeting my exhausted expression. It took me a lot of effort to get a smile to appear on my face.

"Yeah I'm good, Cal. Just haven't seen Michael in a while. And it's cold as fuck."

He laughed and held the door open for me. "Come in, man. Hot chocolate's already waiting for us."

Instead of walking past him, I stepped towards him and flung my arms around him. I buried my face in his neck even though he was shorter than me, I just needed a hug. He immediately hugged me back, softly rocking us back and forth.

"Are you sure you're okay, Lukey?"

I shrugged. "Just miss him."

"Why don't you just call him? Or is he away for the holidays or something?"

I let my eyes fall shut, still holding him close. "It's complicated. We just can't see each other right now."

"When was the last time you saw him?" Calum asked, slowly letting me go so he could close the front door.

"Last week. He took me to the London Eye," I said before following him into the kitchen. Two large mugs filled with steaming hot chocolate stood there, as promised.

"Oh my god that's so romantic!" he gasped, handing me one of the mugs. I thanked him before nodding approvingly.

"He's like the best boyfriend ever," I smiled dreamily.

"I bet he isn't as cute as Ashton," he grinned, walking over to the living room.

"Oh, he surely is."

"There's no way!"

We talked and laughed all afternoon, just like the old times. I hadn't actually realised how much I had missed hanging out with him until then, I enjoyed every single second of it. We played FIFA and talked about endless nothings and I was happy.