After as in After

Chapter 34

Tessa pov
(writers block so it's not very good)

Tessa's been asleep the entire car ride and I decide to drive around more just to look over at her to see a sleeping kitten in the passenger's seat. I don't know if I made the right choice when I texted her mother. I always make things worse and she ended up crying and screaming into my chest until two in the morning. It hurt every part of me when she was crying and I wanted to take her pain and transfer it to myself, every ounce of her pain. I'm not sure if she'll feel about not saying goodbye to her mum but Carol gave me a nod when I took her to the car. I repeated how much I love her like she does when she comforts me but all I do is inflict darkness and spread shade to everything and everyone in sight. I battled myself whether to leave her with her mother or not but I couldn't leave her again. Never again. Everytime I left her I lost much more of my heart, I thought I was doing the right thing until I get back in the car and I'm too much of a coward to go back. She always comes back to me though. And I thank her while she's sleeping, while she's keeping my demons at bay. She's starting to move around in her seat. That's when I start driving back to my place. I miss saying our place when it comes to going back home without her. It's not exactly home because she's not there but anywhere she goes is my home. This girl has made me into one of those cheesy guys in the most unrealistic romance novels. I could've get less a shit but I'm used to bullying Landon and now the roles have reversed. Let's not lie, I still have the upperhand. I can't help it but say the truth about my girl.

Once we get back to my apartment Tessa is wide awake and opening the door.
"I need to take a shower." I can't read her expression since she just woke up but somethings off.
"Do you need help with that?" I smirk but she just nods her head no and goes into the bathroom.
When I hear the faucet I can tell that she's no longer taking a shower but sitting in the bath. I hate having her sitting there in the water alone, in the room even. In less than two days I'll have to wait to see her for almost an entire month, I just wanted more time especially before my brother get's married to whatever her name his. I'm not sure why he always get's mad at me when I can't remember her name but I don't need to.
Before I can process anything I knock on the bathroom door to check in with Tessa. "Tessa? Are you ok?" I can't tell what's happening since the water is still running, I turn the door knob and without any doubt I know she left it unlocked.
"Hardin, what?" She covers herself which to this day makes me smile, even after all we've done. "You can't just come in here." Voice is rising and I try to take my eyes off her body but to my best ability I look into her beautiful eyes.
Kneeling down next to the bathtub I take her hand in mine. If she doesn't want to talk I'm not going to force it on her so I pull out my phone and go to her playlist. "I'll be right back." Getting off the floor and grabbing her copy of Pride and Prejudice that she gave to me as a gift. The best gift I've ever gotten and bring it back into the bathroom, closing the door behind me.
"What are you doing?" Looking confused at the object in my hand.
"You're always such a nosy little thing," she returns my smile but in a smaller version. I sit back down where I was and open up to a random page.
Reading the highlighted passages is something I can never get tired of. The reason behind the yellow marker makes it an obsession of mine to never stop reading the words that reminded her of me.
"You don't have..." I can see her frown in my peripherals.
"Will you just shut up and let me read to you." I grab her hand once again. I try to sound as playful as I can but I only get a smile from her. "Talk to me."
After seconds go by without a word from her I take off my clothing and sit infront of her in the tub.
"Hardin." Grabbing her wrists, I pull her closer to me and place my hands so I'm cupping her smooth, white cheeks that are now turning red from her blushing at my action.
Laying her head on my chest she says, "I don't want to talk about it. Please don't make me talk about it." Her bottom lip quivers and I have pushed her enough for one day.
"Look at me." She keeps her head on my chest. "Please Tess," sounding like a beg and command.
Her blue-grey eyes pour into mine as I slowly lean in closer to her so our foreheads are touching. I place a single kiss on her forehead before placing another on her temple. Her head falls into the crock of my neck as I hug her as close as I can. On her bare shoulders I see goosebumps and kiss the top of her shoulder and drain the water. She doesn't look up from my neck and she doesn't move from my body when I drain it and stand up. For a minute I think she's fallen asleep again but she's just folding her hands in front of both of our chests. With one arm I hold her up and with the other one I pick up a towel. She shivers on our way back to the room so she can put on some clothes.
"Here," I hand her one of my sweatshirts when she picks up her sweatpants and those weird fuzzy, pink socks that she's had for forever.
"Thanks."
We're both dressed and I go into the sitting area with a blanket. She goes to sit down on the opposite side of the couch when I grab her hand and wrap the blanket around her, swaddling her. I don't know how she feels right now so I decide to turn on Friends following with a forehead kiss. Looking up at me she smiles and lays the back of her head back onto my chest. The blanket covering both of us while I'm leaning back on the arm of the couch, slouching so she can place her head comfortably on me. One of the character's says something funny and she tries not to laugh but fails miserably.
"Why are you laughing?" We ask each other at the same time.
"I'm laughing because of what Chandler said. What are you laughing at?" Her. I'm laughing at her childish laugh that has brightened everyone's day. I feel in love with her first smile, she was the first to make me smile.
"Because... same reason." My arms grab behind her back and I pull her closer. I need her to be closer.

(it's bad ik but i'll make up for it)