"Don't be so cold"

Chapter 5

Cassana's P.O.V.

I woke up just before dawn and exited my chambers. It was still dark and all the men of the nights watch were still asleep, but they'd be up soon, so I needed to be quick and quiet.

Cautiously I walked over to the kitchen. Slowly, I turned the doorknob so it barely made a sound. I shut the door gently behind me. The sun hadn't come up yet and I couldn't risk lighting a candle so the only light I had was from the moonlight shinning through the windows.

I tip-toed over to a rack filled with rolls of bread. From my pocket I laid out a piece of cloth on a near by counter. I took three rolls of bread from the end of the bottom row so the chefs wouldn't notice their absence. The bread was still fresh from last night. I tied up the cloth and placed it back in the pocket of my long black dress.

I was about to make my way out of the kitchen to the safety of my chambers when I heard the subtle noise of the doorknob twisting. I could feel my heart beat accelerating quickly while I froze in fear.

Finally I came back to my senses and before the first chef entered the kitchen I had hid behind the counter. I held my breath as he walked past me. He lit a candle making the path to safety much clearer. To my delight I found that a rock had stopped the door from closing, so I could escape silently without drawing attention to myself.

As quiet as a mouse I crawled to the exit without being seen then briskly ran back to my chambers. When my door was shut, and I was completely positive no one had seen me I sighed in relief.

An hour later the sun had fully risen. The men were at the dinning hall to break their fast. As I strutted down the court yard when I spotted that blacksmith I had made the deal with.

I jogged up to him and tapped his shoulder. "I have some food, I don't know if it's enough but I can get more of it if you want." I whispered, taking the rolls from my pocket.

He scanned his surroundings and when he was sure not a soul was watching he unwrapped the bread. "It's plenty." He said. "You'll get your sword tonight, meet me in that alley after everyone's gone back to their chambers." He pointed to the alley were we had arranged our deal yesterday morning.

I nodded in agreement.

I practically skipped in happiness to the dinning hall to collect some breakfast. My own sword, I was going to have my very own sword! I couldn't stop smiling. I felt more independent with a sword, like I could really protect myself now, or tonight, when the swords really mine.

Although my glee was short lived. After I picked up a bowl of lukewarm oatmeal I walked around into the kitchen to eat my morning meal in a quieter atmosphere.

Before I could react heavy foot steps approached me and suddenly the bowl was shattered on the ground and I was pinned me up against a wall in the corner. The man holding me back was called by the name, Rast. His breath reeked, I pressed my face to the side to get as far back as possible.

He gave me an evil grin, showing his rotting, yellow teeth before ramming his tongue down my throat. When he pulled away he kept a strong, heavy arm on my shoulder to restrict my movement. I spat in his face, and it got him right in the eyes.

"You don't know your place, you little whore!" He growled at me.

The beast wiped his face then raised a hand and struck me right a cross my temple. My head collided with the wall at my side. My vision grew blurry, my hearing was off, my ears were ringing. I began to feel sick to my stomach and I was dizzy. I couldn't focus on anything, I could barely make out the fact that Rast was undoing his pants.

"Do you know what brought me here?" He asked rhetorically.

"I'll give you a hint, I was given a choice. It was either the wall or castration."

I let out a small wail at his clue.

"That's right. Rape." He whispered in my ear. The words cut like a knife.

A single tear rolled down my face as he continued to unbind his trousers.

I prayed to all the gods, the old and new that someone, anyone would come into the kitchen and put an end to this.

Fortunately it seemed my prayers were answered because shortly after my plea to the gods someone pried the man away before he could get inside me.

I slid to the floor as Rast was the only one keeping me up.

My vision was still fuzzy, and my head was foggy. I heard dishes hit the floor. The only thing I could comprehend was that the raper was getting a good beating.

"Leave her alone!" My savior spat at him.

He turned to me and I was finally able to see his face.

"Jon?" I asked weakly.

"Don't talk." He hushed me as he scooped me up and carried my out of the kitchen.

I knew where he was taking me. In this terrible state I was still able to recognize every inch of the wall. He was taking me to Maester Aemon.

Half way through the walk my nausea returned, only much worse. I clutched Jon's shoulder in pain and ushered him to let my down, he did as I requested. I fell to my knees while my stomach gargled.

To my dismay the very little oatmeal I had consumed before I was attacked came back up and onto the dirt. I cringed in both pain and disgust.

Jon didn't even flinch, he just picked me back up and transported me the rest of the way to Aemons chambers.