Just By Putting On a Smile

Chapter 19- I Don't Want To Get Into It

A/N - I'm slightly confused why I made this so complicated, the judging panel is from the 2013 X Factor, but I wrote this like it was in 2012? Sorry if I get a few things mixed up, I've made this really confusing sorry.

**Demi's POV**
"You look great Dem! But the shirt/dress thingy, is umm, you look like you're wearing Simon's shirt.." Kelly says.
"Kel I'm gonna wear a belt," I laugh.
"Ohhh, that'll look better," she chuckles.
"Demi, here's the belt we punched it further up so it fits," My stylist says handing me me belt.
"Thank you," I reply, she leaves.
"Dem you can't even fit into the belt," Kelly says sympathetically.
"Kelly I'm fine, the belt sizes run big." I reply.
"Dem this isn't healthy." She says and I don't respond. I fasten the belt around my waist and put on a denim jacket and cowboy boots. I put on some big necklaces and a bracelet. Before Kelly came to see me, I covered my cuts with foundation, and I'm finally ready for the show.

"Dem you looks so good!" Kelly says. I smile, knowing she's lying to be nice.

Me and Kelly make our way to the wing of the set and my name is called. I hug Kelly then walk on and hear the crowd going mental.
"Demi! It's so nice to have you back on the show, you look great," I thank her and she hugs me and we both sit down.
"So, a lot has happened since the last time I interviewed you, you're a new judge on the X Factor!" Ellen says.
"Yes I am, we're in the middle of auditions right now." I tell her.
"How's everyone on the panel getting along?" She asks.
"Honestly, extremely well. I love Kelly, Paulina and Simon to death and we've all gotten really close. I know I can go to any one of them about anything, and they're just the best. Kelly's actually with me today," I tell Ellen.
"No drama? That's the first I've heard of that in one of these talent shows. Do you actually get along with Simon?" She asks.
"Yeah, surprisingly because there's a HUGEE age gap. But he's so great, and old." I say making everyone laugh.
"There's been a lot of news going around about the panel hanging out with 1D a lot, is this true?" She asks, with the audience cheering when she mentions 1D.
"Yeah, they've been in the US recently, and Simon wanted to send time with them while they're here so we all went for dinner." I tell her, trying to avoid any Niall questions.
"So, any romances? You're about their age. There's been some speculation about you and Niall.." She says.
"No romances, Niall's one of my best friends though, we've been in touch a lot and he's great, he's so good to talk to. In fact, he even text me before I came this show to wish me good luck. He's a great guy." I tell Ellen.
"So no boys right now?" She asks.
"No, I'm single right now and I'm not planning on anything right now." I tell her giggling while slightly red.

We talk about more stuff, then it cuts to a commercial break. Me and Ellen go back and see Kelly for a couple minutes and quickly make our way back to the set.

"We're back with Demi Lovato!" Everyone cheers.
"She just released her single Give Your Heart a Break off her new album Unbroken which will be released in a couple weeks. Demi will be preforming Give Your Heart a Break later on. So Demi, I just want to talk about what your comfortable talking about, what happened back in 2010?" She asks, I take a deep breath and continue.
"Well, I went to treatment at the end of the year, for an eating disorder, self harm and addiction." I tell her.
"When did you start having these issues?"
"Well, I was severely bullied at school, I was always picked on for my weight, and being ugly and other things. I can't remember ever being comfortable with my size or weight, and it all got worse when I was picked on for being fat. When I was 11, the bullying all got too much and I resorted to self harm, it got progressively worse and hard to cover up. I remember being caught out at Miley Cyrus's Sweet 16th in 2008 and it was the most terrifying thing ever, I covered them up, but the makeup rubbed of revealing a couple of fresher cuts that were more aggravated than the others. It was so bad, the whole world knew, so I got really sneaky and did it in places they couldn't see." I say.
"What about Drugs and Alcohol? Did you use them often?" Ellen said, I haven't said much about my addictions at all.
"Umm, I'd be lying if I said I've never tried self medicating and drinking to deal with me issues." I say, keeping it short and brief. Ellen senses I don't want to speak much about that.
"So, this might be quite a sensitive subject right now, but it's all over the news. Your dad passed away right?" She says.
"Yes,"
"What happened?" She asks.
"He had cancer, he's in a better place now though." I say trying to rush this subject along.
"Your sister Dallas replied to comment that went viral, you didn't attend his funeral?" She asks confused.
"I did, a lot of factors play into it and I don't really want to get into it if that's okay?" I say politely.
"Of course," She says.

She asks more music related questions about my new album, and we come towards the end of the show.
"Okay, so after the commercial break Demi will be back to preform her new single Give Your Heart a Break! Stay tuned," Ellen says then it cuts to a commercial break.

"Demi I'm so sorry I didn't mean for the question about your dad to get so personal, I-" Ellen starts.
"Ellen, don't worry. You're told what to say it's not your fault."

I go backstage to Kelly.
"Good job D!" She cheers.
"I'm so nervous.."
"Why?" Kelly asks.
"I'm fine, it's just the first time I'm gonna be preforming this song,"
"Dem you'll crush it, you can do this," She runba my back and I head out to the stage.

-
"Give it up for Demi Lovato! Go get Demi's new single Give Your Heart a Break our now, and preorder her album Unbroken coming out in 2 weeks! That's all for tonight, thank you!" Ellen says over all the cheering.
"That's a wrap!" A producer says.

Kelly rushes up to me,
"Dem you did so good!" She hugs me.