Little Black Book

vi

My grandmother used to say that confidence is the master key to everything. That if you lie with just the right amount of sureness laced in your voice and poise in your posture, you can convince anyone that you're telling the truth. I've lived by those words since she told them to me when I was 6 and so far, I don't plan on doing things any other way.

Confidence fuels fearlessness and power. It makes you dauntless of whatever might come your way and if things go sideways, you can deal with it with no worries nor pressure. Confidence got me my first pageant win at 7. Confidence got me my popularity. Confidence got me my first boyfriend. Confidence got me the cheer captain position as a junior. Confidence should have been my middle name instead of stinky Penelope.

And that's why Rosie never asks if I'm nervous about something like going to Chanyeol's (and also technically Sehun's) place for the first time. Because I don't get nervous.

But I'd be lying if I said my heart rate wasn't pumping in its normal pace.

It's stupid, I know that. I mean, I know everyone who'd be there. I know Chanyeol and Jongin because they either screw or make out with my friends before practice even though I keep telling them not to because the girls always end up late. I know Wendy because I gossip with her about trashy girls who can't stop sleeping with their teachers from other schools. I even know Kyungsoo because we have History together (the subject, not the other type of history). I know all of them and I'm pretty sure I'm at least friends with them.

But I'm coming because Sehun invited me (again) the last time I saw him and I haven't seen him in days. I'm not worried or anything, but he was in class everyday until he just disappeared. It's unusual to have no one piss me off every 2 minutes by making a dirty joke over whatever Miss Choi said because I always end up laughing louder than I intend to and now I'm sure she's itching to write me a detention slip if I make even the slightest sound.

Now it's just been me, silence, and an empty seat.

And weirdly enough, it sucks. I don't like it. It's uncomfortable. He's ruining the flow of things and I will drag him to school if that's what it takes to get things back in order. I might not believe in status quo, but I don't like abrupt changes. He could have texted me, it's really not that hard.

"We're here!" Rosie cheers. The car parks and the first thing I notice is that the lawn is freshly mowed and they're doing the whole white picket fence thing. It's not very modern or anything, just your typical American house.

I know I sound elitist or something, but I'm used to being in big mansions and extensive penthouses so you can't really blame me. The last time I saw a normal sized home was when I went to Queens to visit my family on my dad's side because my cousin, Jisoo, was debuting on Broadway. Speaking of which, I just remembered that Mrs. Park used to be Jisoo's vocal coach when she came to visit for the summer a few years back. Small world, I guess.