The Rise Of The Morningstar (Eng. Version)

Chapter 3 - Our Deceased Past

Chapter 3 "Our Deceased Past"

I couldn't sleep although it was in the middle of the night. The blanket was pulled up under my chin and I lay in the bed of my new room which Maryse had escorted me to hours before. Tomorrow, I would get to know the other Shadowhunters with whom I would train together. This will completely backfire, I thought. Still, this wasn't the reason for my missing sleep.

I wasn't able to stop thinking. My brain didn't want to shut down. I thought about my father, the things my mother had accused him of. And I thought about Jonathan. I feared that they would eventually find us here. After all, my father had his spies, who had pledged allegiance to him, everywhere.

Just last night, they had attacked the Institute in Paris, probably because they thought that we had directly gone to the closest Institute to Idris. I swallowed and my stomach felt heavy although I hadn't eaten anything for dinner. Five Shadowhunters had died at the attack. Five glowing lives and I was involved in their deaths even if only in a passive way. I had never killed anyone. Never. Animals yes but not humans. And now there were five bodies at once and it was all my fault.

I didn't know any of them in person of course, but it still discomforted me. With tears in my eyes, I stared into the darkness of my room and remembered the dream that I had last night. It must've had a meaning, none of my past dreams had felt as realistic as this one. The question was, how Jonathan was involved in it. I'd thought about the meaning of the dream all evening but hadn't understood it. Maybe I worried too much, and it had just been a regular dream. Maybe the dream had felt more realistic than usual because I had been exhausted from our trip or from all the events that had happened beforehand.

Only when I woke up the next morning, I realized that I'd eventually fallen asleep at all. The sun was up already, and its bright light fell through the window. The walls of my new room were colored in a light beige, the bed had been covered with a grey sheet extemporary. The mahogany furniture looked archaic but taken care of. Still, the room felt impersonal and cold. As soon as my mother was a hundred percent sure that we'd stay here, I would redesign it. It looked bare and haunted.

Someone must have been in my room while I'd been asleep because a clean Shadowhunter gown laid on the chair. I took it and went to the bathroom to change.

When I entered the corridor some minutes later, it was as empty as yesterday. Although, not completely empty. A grey cat was sitting next to my door as if it was waiting for something ... or someone. Its yellow eyes rested on me, and it jumped on its feed when I closed the door behind me. The cat had probably been waiting for me.

„Oh hello", I said and examined the cat as it ran up to me. I've never had a pet, so I kneeled and carefully ruffled the cat's fur. It purred in contentment. "Do you have a message for me?", I asked whereupon the cat stared at me from its murky eyes as if it understood what I had said. And it probably had.

With a smooth movement, the cat sat up and strutted through the corridor. I followed it and together we entered the elevator. Beyond us, the mural paintings appeared again, but I forced myself to walk past them. Just now, I realized how quiet it was. There probably weren't many Nephilim living in the Institute. When we exited the elevator on the first level – well the cat exited smoothly while I stumbled behind it – my stomach contracted, and I felt the fear spreading through my body.

Just now, I realized that in some minutes I would meet the other Shadowhunters. This mysterious cat was probably guiding me directly to them. They will hate me, I thought and my legs started to tremble. My father had taught me everything about battle, weapons and survival but he never taught me how to solve interpersonal conflicts. I'd never spoken to other Nephilim except for Maryse but my mother had done most part of that conversation. How should I show them that I wasn't the person they expected me to be? How should I prove that my intentions weren't evil?