Warning(s): swearing, quite a bit of angst if you're sensitive like me (but I promise it gets better!)
"Holy shit." The words that left your mouth was a result of pure shock. You both sat there for what felt like ages, staring at each other's marks in absolute silence.
"So," Richie coughed, his face was pale like he felt sick, "What now?"
Your eyes shot up to look at him. He almost looked defeated and any sense of joy you felt vanished. That was right, you talked about this with Beverly just a few days ago. You were too young to find your soulmate and you doubt Richie would want to spend his teenage years tied to you.
"Uhh-I mean, I don't know. This really doesn't change anything, right?" You questioned, keeping your eyes steady on him to see how he reacts. Richie simply shrugged, laying his hand to rest back in his lap.
"I guess not," Richie spoke up, his voice steady. "Friends?"
The one word just about broke your heart but you didn't let it faze you. The word shouldn't have hurt you that bad, you were even doubting what you should do. You had to stay strong, especially when Richie is asking you, his soulmate, if you just wanted to stay as friends.
"Yeah, friends," You put on the best smile you could and nodded at your soulmate. You thought you would be happier but only the sense of doubt filled you when looking into his brown eyes. Were they that pretty before? Was he this attractive before? Even though it had only been a few seconds, you could already feel the sense of regret looming over you.
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School finally started and luckily enough, you and the losers had many classes together. You had chemistry with Beverly, English with Stanley and Eddie, math with Bill, and history with Richie. Although it had been months since you and Richie agreed to just be friends, you both drifted apart ever since that day. It was like every time you were with each other, you didn't know what to say or do. You couldn't even hold a conversation with him without feeling a weight in your chest.
History was pretty lonely for you and Richie. You didn't really talk to each other and no one wanted to talk to the two of you. So, you still sat next to each other but you didn't do anything. Richie was known for causing a ruckus, especially with his friends in class, but in history he was quiet, choosing either to take a nap or stare blankly at the chalkboard.
It felt like Beverly was the only person you could talk to at this point. She knew about your crush on Richie and she was your best friend. You could rant to her about anything and she would just listen. On the off chance that you ask her for advice, she'd give it to you and explain the reason why. She wanted the best for you and you felt that.
"Sometimes I just wonder why I even agreed to be friends in the first place. It was pretty obvious that I liked him before all of this mess. And now I just feel terrible. I want the best for Richie, I really really do. I don't want to tie him down to one person so early but I also like him a lot."
