Queer 'n Teen: A Quarantine Love Story

Turning Japanese

"Yume de soshite ai de fukano ga arimasen."

I've been trying to learn a new language just to finally ease my mind from the tension that happened
few days ago. Well, it's nothing really. I just pushed that kid away and kicked him out of my apartment before I do anything bad.

"Can I see your collection?"

That sounded so wrong in so many ways. I don't really have a collection of condoms and if he really wanted to see it, why? I mean-

There goes my perverted mind again. Okay, I admit. It was me. If I let him stayed that night, I could've never controlled myself.

There are a lot of things happening in my imagination already. I'm afraid it wouldn't stay there. Too risky.

It's 5 minutes before 7 and I'm on the
meeting early. I don't know if fate is
playing with me cos the first one in
attendance is-

"Nong Blue.."

Did I just call his name? Shi... I cant believe I just did, but what's more unbelievable is he seemed like he never noticed. Is he avoiding me?

Luckily, before the awkwardness set in, another student joined in, and another one, until everyone's present.

I ended my class quietly hoping
he'll stay on- yet he didn't. I rolled my eye and left out a sigh before ending the meeting.

My heart is beating fast. Maybe I just miss the feeling of being the center of my students'attention. These freshmen probably do not now what they are missing. If only they see me personally, I can only imagine them drooling over me as I walk pass the hallways.

I'm so bored I got back to that japanese tutorial website. I'm not really sure if this is relevant, or will I ever use it? I don't watch anime, I don't listen to japanese music. The
only time I came close to studying was when I became addicted to gravure idols, but that was ages ago, when I'm still sure I'm straight. And the only thing that was stucked
to my mind was "Yamete Kudasai!"

And yamete I should. I'm not enjoying this anymore. I feel really sad right now. I'm torn between listening to chill music and stalking Blue's facebook profile. I ended up doing both.

He was not my facebook friend but there is one link shared publicly. It was a music video for Kimi No Na Wa. I clicked and ended up having LSS.

I just realized I was learning japanese and then I saw this. Coincidence? Should I watch the movie? Is he trying to tell me something?

I hate myself for assuming things like this but what can I do? I think I miss him- What if I send him a private message? Ugh no. Never. I'm still his teacher after all. Let me just listen to that song again.

I can't sleep. I have finally downloaded Kimi No Nawa the movie but I'm still not In the mood to watch it. I finally decided to just search the meaning of the song-

So the song title is "Sparkle" in English. The lyrics are even better than its music.

Words like "tomorrow" or "future" or "fate"
No matter how far they extend their hands
We breathe, we dream, we raise our love
In a timeless land that is far out of reach
Even the second, hour hands of the clock
They look at us sideways as they tick and tock
How I hope to have forever to spend
This life, no-all future lives
Right here in this world with you

I don't exactly understand what it means but I'm sure it's a love song. Is he thinking of me while he's listening to it?

A guy can dream, you know.
Even the impossible.

I think I might have said that before.

Plus if he has a collection of my photos, that gives me the right to assume. Shi-

I guess I know what to do. I can be smart when I needed to, I believe.

"Emergency meeting for selected group of students. Meeting starts at 8 pm."

Okay, I lied. Not a smart move cos he might wonder why I sent the link through a private message. But hopefully, the "selected group
of students" save me.

"Nong Blue.."

He's obviously confused cos we're not in a group meeting and the only face he could see from the screen is the most handsome of them all. I'm not even kidding. But he's still quiet so I have to ask why?

"Why'd you have to kick me out?"

He's still sulking because of that night apparently.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to."

"What's the meaning of this?"

I shared my screen and played the song. I'm not so sure now. I thought I was smart.

"Did you stalk my profile?"

"Yeah.. I guess.."

"So you know what that means?"

"I think so."

"What?"

"Like dreaming to be with someone you love?"

"Yes. And dreams are sometimes impossible."

I tried my best to tell him this.
It's the first thing I learned from all those hard to memorize Japanese sayings.

"Yume de, soshite ai de, fukano ga arimasen."

Blue smiled all confused,

"What does that mean?"

"In dreams and in love, there are no impossibilities."

He showed me his ever genuine smile that I missed! I think I'm turning Japanese. Kamisama arigato!