Queer 'n Teen: A Quarantine Love Story

Dear Diary

It's my last year in highschool.

I can't believe I'm getting to college soon! Today, my cousin Champ accompanied me to take my entrance exam. It should be my brother Saifah but he's busy practicing his song performance with his partner P'Zon. It's okay. I get more moral support from P'Champ anyway.

I think I did well on my exams so I'm quite positive with the result. Another thing that gets me excited is P'Champ and P'Saifah's Literature teacher. There's something about him that intrigues me, although I think it was
not that weird because he was pretty popular.

His name is Dew Rujeerattanavorapan. I instantly followed him on IG right after P'Champ told me his name. He's so good looking. I think I'll study better when my teacher looks like that.

Well, that's one whole year of on and off stalking for me. Who would've thought P'Dew will talk to me like this? It's literally a dream come true.

"In dreams and in love, there are no impossibilities."

I can still remember how beautifully these words were spoken. The catterpillars are still busy crawling
inside my stomach, waiting to be butterflies. I can't seem to move on from that confession, it's unbelievable! I'm sure sleeping tonight would be a major struggle.

P'Dew's photos on my wall are the only witness to my feelings. I could've told Zol but I don't want her to jump into conclusions just yet. Maybe I'll tell P'Champ tomorrow. It's almost midnight and he sleeps at 8 so I don't wanna wake him up. He once told me only people in relationships have the right to stay late at night. I couldn't agree more. Now I-

Dew Rujeerattanavorapan sent you a friend request.

I quickly clicked the accept button and stalked his profile, not that I've neverdone it before. It's just that there are not much to see on his public posts, just tagged photos from students who felt like they were taking pictures with a celebrity. Well, he looks like one though.

D: Are you awake?

Isn't it obvious?

B: About to go to sleep.

D: I can't sleep.

Oh how I wanted to say I feel the same but the fact that he's still my teacher worries me, although I don't want to stop him either. I worked hard to earn this. It would be such
a waste if I-

Dew Rujeerattanavorapan is calling.

"P'Dew.."

"Sorry, I can't wait for your reply so I  called you. Or.. have you fallen asleep? Oop, I'm really sorry.."

He's so cute I didn't imagine him to
be this way. I'm think I'm melting.

"No, I just.. I just fixed my bed but I
was about to reply."

"Can I see you tomorrow?"

I swear I almost squeal as I hear it.
I don't know how to respond. I'll try.

"Um, where?"

"I would say my place but I don't want
you to think bad of me, so can I visit
you in your house? I mean.. we don't
have a lot of options."

Shi.. I can just imagine my brother and P'Champ teasing me.

"P'Dew, do you know I'm living with
P'Sai and P'Champ?"

"Yes, I do. Don't worry we can act like
I'm just playing the role of a nice tea-
cher checking on my students, not a bad idea right?"

I wonder if I'll let him know that P'Champ and P'Sai knows I like him, but if I do, he might not want to visit me anymore.

"Deal."

"Cool, see you tomorrow. Fan dee na."

I wanna squeal and shout and roll on my bed that I almost forget to tell him the same thing.

"Fan dee na, P'Dew."

B: What time are you coming?

It’s already 10 AM and I’ve been awake for five hours. I wouldn’t blame P’Dew for my less than four hour sleep though. As I’ve said, I earned this, eyebags included.

P’Champ and P’Sai are busy playing with their phones and I wish they stayed like that when P’Dew arrive. I even baked  cookies for today’s “surprise visit” but only three cookies are left because my housemates are nice like that. If only they knew I made it especially for my beloved teacher.

“Nong Blue! Your teacher is here.”

It was P’Saifah calling me.. how could
he address P’Dew like that when he
was once their teacher too? This jerk.

Play the role of a nice student.
Susu na Blue.

“Sawadee khap Khun Dew.”

From the corner of my eye, I can see my cousin and my brother exchanging secret glances to
L each other. I feel so uncomfortable but P’Dew’s direct stare makes me even weaker.

“I’m doing educational visits to freshman students and I decided to get here first because it’s the nearest one, obviously?”

I hate how he was smiling while saying this and his eyes are focused on mine.

P’Sai fake a cough. Except that his fake cough could make one think he has caught the virus.

I threw my housemates a quick glance, eyes widened rather effortfully sending them signals.

Give us privacy, please.

Fortunately, P’Champ can pick up
faster than P’Sai. He’s still my brother
and I love him but I still choose to be
honest. He can be really stupid.

We’re finally alone in the living room.
My textbooks are already in the table
as I was pretending I woke up early
for a project. I’m pretty sure those
two are talking about me right now.

P’Dew sat on the chair next to me.
We were never this close before.
I can still remember how he kicked me out from his apartment few days ago. And now-

“I want to quit my job.”

I was completely taken aback. He was
my inspiration and I am not sure I’ll
still be this motivated in studying if
he’s not my teacher anymore.

“Why would you say that? You’re a
great teacher. The school loves you.
your students need you.”

“I know but.. I need to be happy too.”

“What do you mean?”

Maybe I’m naïve and clueless or I’m
just really overwhelmed by his presence next to mine that I almost
collapse when I heard him answer.

The three cookies left finally found
their meaning when P’Dew whispered:

“I love you.”