Lost ♡Hyunho♡

Chapter 3

이게 나를 더 못 울린다면
내 가슴을 더 떨리게 못 한다면
어쩜 이렇게 한 번 죽겠지 아마
ᴮᵘᵗ ʷʰᵃᵗ ⁱᶠ ᵗʰᵃᵗ ᵐᵒᵐᵉⁿᵗ’ˢ ʳⁱᵍʰᵗ ⁿᵒʷ
ᴿⁱᵍʰᵗ ⁿᵒʷ

(ⁱᵍᵉ ⁿᵃʳᵉᵘˡ ᵈᵉᵒ ᵐᵒᵗ ᵘˡˡⁱⁿᵈᵃᵐʸᵉᵒⁿ
ⁿᵃᵉ ᵍᵃˢᵉᵘᵐᵉᵘˡ ᵈᵉᵒ ᵗᵗᵉᵒˡˡⁱᵍᵉ ᵐᵒᵗ ʰᵃⁿᵈᵃᵐʸᵉᵒⁿ
ᵉᵒʲʲᵉᵒᵐ ⁱʳᵉᵒᵏᵉ ʰᵃⁿ ᵇᵉᵒⁿ ʲᵘᵏᵍᵉᵗʲⁱ ᵃᵐᵃ
ᴮᵘᵗ ʷʰᵃᵗ ⁱᶠ ᵗʰᵃᵗ ᵐᵒᵐᵉⁿᵗ’ˢ ʳⁱᵍʰᵗ ⁿᵒʷ
ᴿⁱᵍʰᵗ ⁿᵒʷ)

ᴵᶠ ᵗʰⁱˢ ᶜᵃⁿ’ᵗ ᵐᵃᵏᵉ ᵐᵉ ᶜʳʸ ᵃⁿʸᵐᵒʳᵉ
ᴵᶠ ᵗʰⁱˢ ᶜᵃⁿ’ᵗ ᵐᵃᵏᵉ ᵐʸ ʰᵉᵃʳᵗ ᵗʳᵉᵐᵇˡᵉ ᵃⁿʸᵐᵒʳᵉ
ᴹᵃʸᵇᵉ ᴵ’ˡˡ ᵈⁱᵉ ˡⁱᵏᵉ ᵗʰⁱˢ
ᴮᵘᵗ ʷʰᵃᵗ ⁱᶠ ᵗʰᵃᵗ ᵐᵒᵐᵉⁿᵗ’ˢ ʳⁱᵍʰᵗ ⁿᵒʷ
ᴿⁱᵍʰᵗ ⁿᵒʷ
☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙

Hyunjin slowly opened his eyes. He blinked several times to adjust his blurry vision to the bright surroundings. That was when it hit him. He had kissed Minho. His Hyung. But the most important thing was that, he had kissed back!

He liked him back. This was wrong. Everything was going wrong. Minho hadn't been able to dance for a few days. He hadn't been concentrating. The boy was just out of focus these days, as if he was drifting into space. It concerned Hyunjin.

And if JYP found out...no both of them would be kicked out. How would Stays feel about this? After all these years, being together and promising to be together forever. The promise would be broken.

But promises are meant to be broken someday...some break us with them and some break our bondages making us free, for our own good. But this was all wrong. They had eachother anyhow. They had eachother's backs and liked eachother, it would work out right? And what Minho needed according to Hyunjin was support right now.

Inspiration.
Passion.
And encouragement.

Hyunjin had a doubt and hadriugh idea what the older must have been going through. That's what he needed and Hyunjin would provide it. Even if he himself was having a hard time, he could do this. He could get through this. They both could. But where was he right now?

•°•°•°•°•°

Minho sat down again, breathing heavily. His back was on the mirror now as he leaned his head back and looked at the ceiling. He was half way in the pit. He wanted someone to pull him out of it. But the main problem was he himself. He couldn't focus. He didn't have that tremble of heart when he heard the music. The flow had snapped. Resulting him to end up swaying here and there without a clue of what he was supposed to be doing.

He had tried. When the new step was just on its edge, ready to spring out of Minho, he was so happy but then, on the last millisecond it was gone. Minho had been depressed for a while but he tried it again, soon giving up because he became bored of it. Not because he had lost interest, yet. But because he was too used to it all.

The time he first stepped into a real studio. He was so excited to see the sight but now it was all too familiar. Whenever they were promoted, it was just bigger and better, but whatever the case he could always dance in any situation. Because that was his passion. That was who he was. Why was this happening...to him? Why him? Or was it because of himself?

His shadow...the one who was trying to crush him down. Press him further low so that it could take over. He didn't want to give in to it. He didn't want to give up. He wanted to fight but since it was himself, he was nervous, how was he going to fight himself?

Dancing was the only thing he ever owned and took pride in. The only thing that defined him. He could express everything out of dance but if it was taken away from him. Everything would seem hopeless. Life would be hopeless. Worthless and aimless.

For him this was too hard. How was he going to fight what came next? And then there was Hyunjin. He didn't know he liked the younger. He knew he was fond of him. They had different styles in dance but still managed to get along well. Like two different puzzle pieces, different but together. He was the older. He had to be careful. He had to be the considerate one. He had to-

There it was again. Him. The real him. Dancing. He wasn't blinded nor bonded. But he could see the sparkle in his eyes had been gone. It was the song, he danced in when he was eliminated. When he felt so down, he couldn't take it. He still cried because the pain and happiness was still fresh. But he had made it, that's what made him happy. And now he could define himself to everyone and get them understand him made him more happier. But no, he wasn't crying. Even though it was the real him, he wasn't.

Because that him was the future him. The one, when you lose all feelings or emotions towards the most treasured thing. The regular gleam in his irises was lost too. Wings still black. The shirt was a little messy and even though he couldn't dance the right moves, he kept trying non stop. His feet had started to get blistered.

Minho held his breath. He had no hope.

His eyes were wide open. Tears streaming out from his eyes. He didn't want to talk. He didn't want to do anything. He wanted to dig a hole and stay in there forever.

He wasn't going to accept it. He wasn't going to...it wasn't supposed to be. He knew he was breaking slowly inside. But he knew he couldn't keep himself together. He knew what was coming and he couldn't dodge it. He just... couldn't.

However he would like to escape his shadow or the reality that awaited him with a evil grin. He couldn't accept it. Even though it was layed in front of him in the most orderly manner. He didn't want to pick it up. Not a bit.

•°•°•°•°•°

He roughly wiped his eyes as he rushed out of the studio. He saw Hyunjin exit from the elevator. He avoided eye contact as he continued walking. Just to end up being pushed against the lockers on his right. He hissed softly. "You're avoiding me." Hyunjin said in a low voice. He trapped Minho with his arms on either side of his head as he looked down at him. Minho slowly locked his eyes with Hyunjin.

"It was all a mistake. Forget it ever happened..."Minho said coldly.
"Forget about your first kiss?"
Minho's eyes widened.
"Or forget about you crying? Or forget about everything you ever felt for me? You want to run away?" Hyunjin said with a dangerously low voice. Minho hadn't seen the younger angry, but he was now. He could see that in his betrayed eyes.

Hyunjin was expecting this. The older was always odd. But he knew he had his reasons, stupid enough sometimes but  there always were real reasons. He always had. Minho looked down, "I don't want you to get into trouble." Hyunjin just stared at him. "Meet me in the studio when everyone has gone to bed tonight."Hyunjin said quietly as he walked away, running his hands through his long hair.

Minho turned around to walk away, "I give up." Minho said aloud as he thought mentally after, 'So this the first death. I'm going to die. Or what if the moment's right now?'

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To be continued...