Cast yourself (you are the spell)

Chapter 46

"Where is it?"

Hope continues to rummage through the trunk next to her bed in a frenzy like she's been doing for the past few minutes, throwing random articles of clothing and objects behind her as she kneels on the floor.

Since Hope had woken up, she's been on edge. She's been an absolute ball of nerves. Her mind won't stop running on and on about the night before, no matter how much she tries to distract herself and think about something else.

And now she's talking to herself. She's gone completely crazy, she knows.

"Where the fuck is it?" Nearly ready to give up, the pureblood leans back and lets out a frustrated sigh, staring up at the ceiling to summon any sort of strength.

"Hey." Rose appears in the doorway, her fingers curled along the frame. She tilts her head behind her.

"Come on, we have about a minute before our friends take off without us. Pen is counting the seconds as we speak," she says, smiling with amusement. The girl drops her hand from the doorframe as she steps forward. "Need I remind you that we're trying to get there before Maya wakes up?"

Right.

While Maya isn't the earliest riser, she is probably going to wake up sooner or later. Hope should probably hurry the hell up if she wants to make it to the hospital wing at all, but she can't fucking find it.

The pureblood turns away, clearing her throat before she replies. She thinks that her voice might sound too strained to not raise any questions or suspicion.

"One second," she murmurs, looking down into her trunk again. There are a couple of wizard gags in the corner, a few Slytherin ties that she can glimpse at the bottom, her muggle hoodie sitting on top. Wizard gags. Slytherin ties. Muggle hoodie.

Gags. Ties. Hoodie.

Hope throws it all aside quickly enough.

"What are you looking for?" Rose comes up behind her, hands at her hips as she peeks inside the trunk Hope is searching through. The pureblood finds that she has to clear her throat once again when she talks.

"A box of dark chocolate truffles," she tells Rose, her eyes scanning the nearly empty chest. Her words come together rushed and anxious, nearly running into one another. "The one with nuts. They're Maya's favorites. I know they're in here somewhere."

Or maybe she doesn't.

"Fuck." Hope slams an open palm against the wood of her trunk. She can't get past her frustration. Why does she suddenly feel so desperate? Her chest is tight, too, almost to the point where she can't even breathe. She thinks her lungs might cave in if she can't get herself under control.

"Here. I'll help." Rose sits down beside her, placing a hand on Hope's shoulder. The pureblood recoils as if burned. It's too much. Too much.

"No. Fuck." Hope stands up and kicks the trunk hard, the pain not even registering in her anger. Her eyes blur with tears. Her throat constricts. She feels like she's suffocating. "I can't find it."

She runs a hand through her hair, digging her fingers into her scalp and pulling. If she drags her nails down her face, it is only to scratch the itch to part her lips and scream.

A sob forms in her throat, her teeth clench to stop it. Rose is standing too close for comfort. Hope thinks that she might burn the entire room down if she isn't careful.

"I can't fucking find it!" she snaps, a snarl like that of an animal's building up in her throat, or maybe that's just the howl of the wind outside. It's too cold. Too cold. Cold.