Cast yourself (you are the spell)

Chapter 47

Hope quickly attempts to stand up with the girl pacing back and forth in front of her, which is just about the worst possible choice she can make.

Blood rushes to her head, makes her dizzy, and sends her staggering with black dots in her vision. She trips on the pink blanket still half-wrapped around her and collapses back onto the bed in seconds.

Josie is quick to come to her side, only catching the tail-end of Hope's struggle since her back was turned. Great.

"No, no." She moves Hope back into the position she was in earlier, with her head to the pillow. "Stay put. You need to rest."

Hope clenches her eyes shut as she wills the pain to disappear, trying to ignore the way Josie just told her to stay put like some common house pet. Her fists remain tightened in her lap until her vision clears.

What does Josie not understand about this? Can't she see that right now is no time to rest?

"I cannot rest when I know that I have hurt you, Josette," the pureblood growls out in earnest, annoyed at herself for attempting to make a move and then getting consequently shot down.

Merlin. How humiliating. Will there ever come a time when Josie doesn't reject her? Hope doesn't see one in the near future.

"You're so dramatic sometimes." The brunette rolls her eyes and moves away, but Hope pretends not to hear her words or see the look and pushes on.

"In truth," she tells Josie, her eyes dark and regretful, "I don't know why I said those things I did. I was looking for someone to blame, and I'm sorry I allowed that person to be you."

Hope looks at the blanket in her lap, feeling embarrassed. Apologies can be tricky. "The fault is all mine. You will never have to worry about me taking my anger out on you or your sister again."

Josie blinks, the expression on her face blank. It seems that Hope's words mean nothing to her. Not without action, perhaps.

Hope swallows thickly, trying to skim through her mind for some sort of grand gesture. It's not like Josie had appreciated the flowers or food, so what's next?

"If you would like," she begins slowly, heart jumping into her throat at the thought of what she's about to propose, "maybe we could tell your sister about us?"

She fixes her eyes back to her lap, unable to watch Josie's reaction for this part.

"I don't know if I'm ready for more than that," she continues, a rapid litany of coward, coward, coward shooting through her mind, "but I want to be braver for you. If you'll let me...."

"....After all that I've done," she adds, an afterthought, her tone acid. She thinks that her voice is small enough that Josie might not have heard any of her words at all.

"You really mean that?"

Hope shoots her head up, surprised at the hope she can clearly hear in the other girl's voice. Josie does not allow their eyes to meet and blushes, ducking her head down and starting to fiddle with her fingers and pull on them.

"We don't have to tell Lizzie..." she trails off, but Hope knows that she wants to by the way she keeps flickering her shy gaze up—by the dim, hopeful light in her dark eyes.

The pureblood quirks up a smile.

"If you don't tell her, I will," she jokes. "It's only fair, after all. One of my friends knows. You might as well let someone else, too."

Josie, quite literally, squeaks in excitement. Hope watches her with amusement, raising her eyebrows as Josie places her hand over her heart and sighs dramatically.