𝕊𝕥𝕠𝕜𝕖𝕝𝕖𝕪 𝕀𝕞𝕒𝕘𝕚𝕟𝕖𝕤

Beautiful⛈

*🍍= smut 💍=fluff ⛈=sadness*

"it's not that deep" stokeley said annoyed. 
"it's not that deep? it's NOT THAT DEEP??" i raised my voice repeating his question.

"stokeley you fucking CHEATED ON ME" i yelled making him laugh.  "how would you like it if i went around and fucked any guy that catches my eye huh?" i asked

he didn't answer but continued to smirk holding in his laugh.  "im so tired of your bullshit" i said grabbing my fanny pack that has my phone, airpods, charger and chapstick. i take it everywhere i go.

"im not worried cause your gonna come crawling back" he said letting out his laughter that he was holding in.  "oh yeah?" i questioned as he nodded his head

"watch me come back" i said sarcastically. 
i rolled my eyes and went downstairs putting on my shoes, then i walked out the door. 

i went in my car and screamed my lungs out.  he gets on my fucking nerves.  i don't get how he thinks it's ok to cheat on me and laugh about it to my face.  he's so disrespectful.

i turned my car on and drove off.  what has gotten into him?

two weeks later...

we haven't talked ever since what happened that day.  i already got all of my stuff out of his house and into mines when he wasn't there.

he's tried to get in contact with me, but i have him blocked on everything.  i never want to look at him again or even talk to him. 

just thinking about it gets me mad.  i fell into a deep depression after that day and haven't felt the same since. 

i hurt everyday mentally and self harm crosses my mind everyday but i try my best to control it.  i have never self harmed and i don't want to do that now, over a breakup. 

i sighed laying on my bed staring at the ceiling.  a couple tears left my eyes as my mind flooded with good memories me and stokeley had.

"why? why would he do that to me? why did he break me the way he did? why? just why?" i said outloud. 

whenever i'm in deep thought or even by myself, i always tend to talk to myself.  i always feel like someone is listening to me which makes me feel less uncomfortable, but no one is.

i grabbed my phone and connected it to my big bluetooth speaker that fills up the whole house with whatever is playing. 

i shuffled my playlist without looking and set my phone down.  'No More Pain' by SB, coolie and ski came on. 

i sighed and deleting the song from my playlist and the next some went on.  'Loose Yourself' by eminem plays throughout the house from the speakers. 

a smile crept on my lips.  i love eminem, he's saved me so many times with his words and music.

when the song was over i typed in 'beautiful' by eminem and pressed play. 

lately i've been hard to reach

ive too long on my own

everybody has a private world

the beginning started to play.  i've always loved eminem since i was little.  since the first time hearing him on the radio

my phone started to ring making the music stop.  my face held a confused look.  i looked at it and saw jahseh was calling me

"hello?" i picked it up.  "h-hey" stokeley answered.  my heart sunk.  i haven't talked to him in two weeks...

i immediately hanged up the call without hesitation.  i sat there shocked.  it rang again and i picked it up.  "p-please don't hang up" stokeley said through the phone

"what do you want?" i asked already irritated. 
"ive been trying to get in contact with you" he said

"yeah, and?" i asked with an attitude.  "why did you block me on everything?" he questioned. 

"because ski i don't want anything to do with you.  you broke me so badly i haven't been the same since" i spoke

"im s-sorry" he stuttered.  "okay" i answered dryly.  i honestly don't want to hear his apology. 

"can we just talk?" he asked, "talk about what ski? when you told me you cheated on me and laughed about it to my face? when you told me that i was gonna come crawling back to you? but look who's crawling back now" i said

"you thought about c-coming back r-right?" he asked me making me sigh.  "i'm trying to get you out of my mind, alright? and it's hard when everything i do constantly reminds me of you" i spoke truthfully

"just stop reaching out to me, i'm fine and i'm taking it one step at a time just like you should.  i'm gonna do me and you do you..." i said

"b-but i l-love you" he sounded hurt. 

"i did too" i said hanging up making the music come on again. 

i sighed and put my phone on 'Do Not Disturb'

in my shoes just to see

what it's like to be me

i'll be you, let's trade shoes

just to see what it'd be like to

feel your pain, you feel mine

go inside each others minds

just to see what we find

_________________________________________
eminem is a huge inspiration to me. 

if y'all know the remaining lyrics, you can comment them if you want.

what books y'all want me to update? i'll do my best to update all the ones y'all want.

i love y'all, bye❤️