wish i were heather - killugon songfic

..pretty

Killua POV

I see her... Retz...

Everything became so still for me as if we were going in slow motion. My senses became sensitive, I could even feel my pupils contract. The light pink blush spread on her delicate skin, the way her golden blonde curls bounced when she moved. Her shiny teal blue eyes glimmered in the well-lit hallways. Her smiles could stop time. 

I hated it.

I examine her features and almost immediately feel envy. Yet, she's never done anything wrong towards me, or anyone really. Retz has always been sickeningly sweet and pleasant to me when she's tagging along with me and Gon... or maybe I was the one tagging along... When I lay my eyes on her, no matter what kindness she's given me... I can't help with wish she was erased from this world completely.

Her and Gon are laughing together by their shared locker with big happy grins and blushing faces. Gon stops for a few seconds while Retz was still giving him her light hearty giggles. He tries to go in to kiss her but stops when he glances over Retz's shoulder to see me. He hesitantly stopped to stare at me. His slightly cold stare felt like I was some painting in a museum he just couldn't figure out. His stare finally came to a close as he whispered something in Retz's ear and dragged her away.

My heart felt like it had been torn in two. I felt stranded as if I was standing in that hallway all alone, the ache in my chest making me feel like I could barf my half-assed breakfast any minute. Why did I feel so broken if we weren't together? So useless, worthless, pitiful.

"Killua, you aren't a victim. Stop acting like one."  A voice in my mind scolded me. 

"Yeah..you're right." I murmured under my breath, shutting my eyes as hard as I could.

My eyes shot open and I got a grip when I heard the annoying bell ring. I decided not to go to my locker and just take all my shit with me in my bookbag. I fought back the urge to let my depressing sobs escape my throat. I took a big gulp of my built-up saliva as I let my snow-white hair fall in front of my face and scurried to class.

*＊✿❀　❀✿＊*

 When I reached my classroom, a sudden thought intruded in my mind as I went to grab the door handle. I cursed as the realization that I had both Gon and Retz in my first bell.