wish i were heather - killugon songfic

you gave her your sweater..

Killua POV

I moved my seat to the lone empty desk alone in the back corner of the classroom, I couldn't even bring myself to even make any eye contact with either Gon or Retz. Let alone sit near them.

I tried my hardest to keep my attention towards the teacher and their words but it felt impossible. My eyes kept drawing me back to the lovely couple across the room. No matter how hard I tried, it was like I didn't have control of whether I peeked at them or kept tieing my notice to the board.

Every time I looked at them they were whispering to each other, teasing around, you know, doing things couples do. 

I wanted to be happy for them, I really really did. But, I just couldn't shake this devastating feeling of heartbreak and anguish. 

It's like I gained more and more envy of them by the millisecond. It hurts so bad, I feel like I'm gonna pass out. My head was pounding, my heart was pumping as if my life depends on it. It all sucks. I try to take deep, slow breaths to calm my nerves. Luckily, It ended up calming me down more or less. 

"Why are you being like this? You aren't with him. You're ALONE. Selfish, why should people pity you for unrequited love? It happens to everybody. Just because he's your best friend doesn't mean anything, Killua. Put aside this 'pain' and move on. Pathetic." 

I heard Retz voice out a quiet "Hey Gon-kun~ It's kind of chilly, doncha think?" she pouts and bats her eyelashes at him.

 "Huh? Oh uh, yeah it kind of is. Would you like to borrow my jacket? The cold doesn't really have that much of an effect on me" he quietly responded while rubbing the back of his caramel toned neck. "Wahh- Really?? Thanks a lot, babes! Can I keep it?? Pleaseee?? Just for a while?" she pleaded to him, I swear I could see a sparkle in her rhinestone eyes.

 "Sure! Keep it for as long as you want." he bashfully said to her, taking off his jacket, delicately handing it to her.

She took the jacket from the grips of his hands and thanked him whilst carefully putting it on.

I felt jealously take over as I unconsciously give her a harsh death glare.

 I'm guessing she could feel my eyes bore holes into the back of her head because she turned around and looked around the room with curiosity before eventually catching my eyes. She gave me a darling, genuine smile and a small kind wave.

I stopped my glares and turned my head away from her as fast as I could, looking out the window blushing bright burgundy from the embarrassment.

How could anybody not fall for her... 

she's beautiful.

she has a delightful personality.

eyes as blue as that of the Hawaiian sea.

and a smile that could make the whole world stop and stare. 

No wonder Gon would pick her over me. 

It's only logical he would pick such a beautiful soul over mine.

Unsurprisingly, the truth still drowned me in sorrow.