Part 5

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de joangorgey

de joangorgey

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physically im here but mentally im standing on a big boulder on the shoreline when the storm is about to come and you can feel the wind brushing past your skin and the first drops of rain, before you run back barefoot through the wet grass to your cottage and then you bust out hot cocoa as the thunder comes rolling in and the rain hits hard and loud on your uninsulated wooden roof

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There are years that ask questions and years that answer.

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flare, as in, sudden outburst of anger
towards one’s own body; wretched body
that i look at, when i dare. this body
that means, i’m alive, i’m surviving, but which
i am trying to survive.

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You keep storing up all that anger and grief. Eventually it spills over. Or you drown in it.
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I guess my life hasn't always been happy, or easy, or exactly what I wanted. At a certain point, I just have to try not to think too much about certain things, or else they'll break my heart.

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I wanted my life to start — but in those rare moments when it seemed like something might actually change, panic shot through me.

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Take the time to tend yourself. Do something creative. Wash your sheets. Fix your bed so it looks nice and comfortable. Do your serious projects, snack, eat real meals. Fix yourself so your hair is clean and soft. Do whatever you'd do if you wanted to look somewhat presentable to another human. Wear comfortable clothes. Unlock your potential and let it grow by creating the environment for it. It's your choice. Patience and determination will get you far. You must take care of yourself in order to be those things. Make yourself happy. Push yourself in the right direction. If you hit a roadblock, adapt or switch goals to another interest. Have more than one interest. Cultivate your skills, especially the ones you enjoy, the ones you're good at. Be kind to other people and tolerate them when their human flaws make them irritating. Don't let anything get in the way of being on your own two feet. Be good. Learn and grow. Let go of the past. It's time for the next level. It's time to grow some more.

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Never ignore a person who loves you, cares for you, and misses you. Because one day, you might wake up from your sleep and realize that you lost the moon while counting the stars.

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What a painful feeling it is to watch the best thing that ever happened to you walk away without saying a word, as you wonder if you'll ever find even an ounce of that same love, that same familiarity, within someone else in this lifetime.

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I knew I did from the first moment we met. It was... not love at first sight exactly, but- familiarity. Like: oh, hello, it's you. It's going to be you.

Thank you for reading.
More quotes, poems, poetry will be posted. Stay tuned

@joangorgey