Teatime Stories

Being an introvert

This is something a normal girl from a small city experiences. Not everyone is same. So, everyone's views obviously differ.This is again a situation where a person is confused about their ownself. Let us put it as a story. Fictional story. Lets call her Mythri.So, Mythri is a girl who stays by herself. Doesn't initiate a conversation with people unless it is only two of them in the place. That is because she knows she is always awkward in her initial conversations.She has so many things to say. But don't know whom to talk to about them and how to talk. Because she is afraid people will judge her. So, she ends up being a listener. She had and will have one friend with whom she can share. But all her friends in the group which she is a part of, keep making fun of her,when she shares something, because she takes a lot of time to do so. That is because she tells them each and every detail of the situation. because she wants them to be with her in that situation and feel the exact same feelings she felt while going through that situation.She wants ro share, but does not. she want people to like her. But, they don't. Because she is to quiet. Her intant replies are not always the best. That is why, she feels better while texting people, as she can always analyze her reply and edit it. Basically, it is more like she is not living how she wanted to, because the society will not accept her if she is herself. She no longer knows what she likes and what she does not. Because, she forces herself to like the trending things and just follows it. she no longer knows how se wants to stay and whom she wants to have as a crush. Because, anytime she puts her opinions and her likes out, she is judged and is called a 'weirdo'.That is why she needs one constant person to be with her, help her with her thoughts and enjoy the music she likes, watch the movies with her and share their opinions. She wants to be in a relationship with a person who understands her. She never felt lonely when she shared her thoughts with her mom and abided by her. But, now she knows, the world doesn't work like that and she won't fit into the modern world;s if she stays a good mama's girl. She cannot tell her mom that she like so and so guy and gossip about how hot he is. And she cannot tell her how she discovered porn. She cannot share her college gossips with her. Because, mom will start telling, 'Is this what you do in the college?'. That one question is enough to annoy her enough to not let her back into her palace of thoughts.
You might be wondering, why would she not share these things with her friends. But, I just told you, how different her likes are that they don't fit into the present trend of thoughts. So, to lessen the storm of thoughts attacking her conscious mind, she starts watching and reading. Because, she has all that time that a normal person would spend hanging out with the group f friends. That way, she won't expose herself to people, and no ear of feeling left out when you did not try to involve yourself.
But, the stuff she watches and reads carve a pathway for new ideas to storm into her mind, where already billions of thoughts are locked and are suffocating and finding some hole to ooze out of her cranial cavity. But, all her output pathways have been jammed and closed by her so strong.
Dealing with these thoughts and analyzing every person she meets and develops her bonds with, only to find out she will never meet a person who will totally accept her and listen to her and let her dying ideas out and ressurect them, is pretty much how her life is.
Any thoughts? Any solutions if you think her whole life is a problem? Or is it really a problem?
And how relatable was it?