Alexander

Brotherly Love

The first thing that Alexander set off to do was find Josiah, which didn't prove to be difficult. He was running drills with a couple of the soldier trainees in the battle pen. Alexander wasn't too fond of the place, since dust tended to find its way into your nasal passages and not come back out until you've had a couple days of sneezing and sniffling, but he was scared, and Josiah had proven himself an ally thus far.

A part of him wondered if maybe he was making the wrong decision ratting Nicholas out. It would surely come back to bite him later (but would it come back to kill him?). The majority of what his gut was saying was that he really needed Lydia. He thought about writing, but it wouldn't do him any good.

He took in the image of the athletic Josiah toying with the new recruit he was working. Their dulled swords clacked and clanked, and the new soldier was sweating profusely, inhibiting his eyesight Alexander was sure. Josiah on the other hand was grinning, hardly doing a thing. He really was a natural.

When Josiah saw Alexander standing at the gate, his eyes darting this way and that and his hands wouldn't stop fidgeting with the gate, he beckoned for the boy's typical trainer to step in so he could have a word with his brother.

"What's the problem, Alex?" he asked, wiping his slick forehead on his sleeve.

Now that Josiah was really here, Alexander found it difficult to speak, like there was a large glob of something sticky stuck in his throat. How was he supposed to say, "My brother gets sexual enjoyment from watching me suffer, and in order to stop he wants to kill me?" The nausea came out of nowhere, hitting him like a runaway chariot. Nothing came up except for bile, but it was enough to etch serious concern on Josiah's face. Alexander was embarrassed, but Josiah didn't seem to care. He gently took Alex by the elbow and led him to a secluded place where he could talk.

If vomiting had been embarrassing, what he did next was worse. He found himself crying, and Josiah held him, and Alexander liked it. Was this what Nicholas felt? he wondered to himself. When he beat me? Alexander didn't really think so. This wasn't sexual, he knew that much from experience. It was basic comfort, something Alex had never had.

"You don't have to say anything, Alex. I already know."

What? He did? How could Josiah know? Somehow that made him feel worse, but there was no way that Nicholas would have gloated to Josiah, because he was right about one thing— this secret getting out would ruin his life, present and future. You don't win the hand of a princess by abusing your younger brother like that.

"I'm going to try something, and I need you to trust me. Can you do that for me?" Josiah pushed his brother away, gripping him tightly by the shoulders. "How much longer do you have?"

"I'm meeting him by the brook tonight," Alexander said hopelessly.

"What do you mean tonight?" Josiah asked in alarm. "I need more time than that."

"Are you sure we're talking about the same thing?" Alexander asked. "Did Nicholas really tell you?" The more Josaih talked, the more Alexander was sure he didn't know the half of it.

Josiah sighed deeply. "Lydia asked me to look after you. She told me that Nicholas has been getting gradually more violent, and he might try to kill you. That's all I know. Is there anything else that I'm missing?"

Yes! He wanted to say. There's so much more! Like Nicholas likes to molest me without taking a thing out of his pants! He sees me as his item. He probably has more than just flogging planned for tonight. But the words wouldn't come, because if he said them out loud it would make them true, besides, he was ashamed of them. He justified his decision to be silent by convincing himself if Nicholas found out he told him, Josiah would be in jeopardy. "No, that about sums it up," he said instead.