Alexander

Goodbyes

Alexander blinked once, twice— his eyes felt so heavy, but he forced himself to keep them open because he had company. "Lily," he said trying to sit up, but it wasn't just his eyes that were heavy.

"Stay down," Lily said sadly, and Alexander obeyed.

"Are you allowed to be here?" he asked.

"I'm here to say goodbye, yes," she said. A beat passed between them. "I almost didn't come, you know."

"Lily, I'm so sorry," he pleaded, but Lily put her index finger over his lips and took a shaky breath.

"I know, it's not fair for me to be mad at you. We could never have been together, I know that... I'm sure that the princess is prettier than me, anyway." She was crying now, and Alexander was fighting his own tears.

"Lily, I was so drunk, I didn't know what I was doing—"

"You don't have to explain yourself to me, Alexander, it's just..." she paused, scanning the room to make sure that they were alone. "It's just that I don't understand. It wasn't you that raped me, but everyone, even Nicholas, truly believes that you raped the princess. Did you really?"

Alexander shut his eyes and attempted to sort through the hazy memories of that night. He shook his head. "I don't remember. Nothing felt real, and there are so many patches of things I just can't recall."

Lily sighed heavily. "I don't know what to do with that, Alexander."

"Neither do I," he confessed.

The pair sat in silence for a minute before Lily got up and kissed her palm, placing it on Alexander's forehead. Alex covered it with his hand, and for a moment he was back in his room, anxiously awaiting his brother's arrival, Lily massaging the dirt out of his skin. Then, it was Nicholas and he let go. She stepped back.

"I hope that we get to see each other again someday," she whispered, as if saying it too loud would make it impossible instead of just a miracle.

"I'll come back," he promised, though he knew it wasn't likely. A twinge of anger at Nicholas shocked his heart, but he held on to it, vowing to never let it go.

Alexander spent the next couple of days wandering the property, saying goodbye to his favorite places (the roof) and his least favorite places (the brook) alike. The people in the manor regarded him in many different ways. Some seemed sad to see him go, others were happy. Even more still, some were confused or angry, even oblivious at times, but Alexander thought that he would miss them all. He said goodbye to the animals and to the different rooms of the house. He did his best to avoid his family, especially Nicholas.

Whenever Nicholas would try to get him alone he'd dart off and hide like the good old days. Occasionally he'd find a note in a place that only he would look, such as the old cellar or under his old mattress that said something like, "I'll be waiting by the brook tonight, you'd better be there." When this happened, Alexander would light the nearest fireplace, or even use a candle if it was too warm to be inconspicuous, and burn it, but he imagined that he kept the ashes close. When the time came, he'd need them for when he returned home and got his revenge. He never showed up to the brook.

The day finally came when Lydia arrived, which meant that tomorrow he'd be out on the streets. But he didn't care, because he could hardly express just how much he missed her. Alexander knew the second that she pulled up, because he'd been watching from the roof all morning, and he flew off and darted around the corner to see her.

Her carriage hadn't even come to a full stop before she leapt out to meet him, tearing her dress on the door. The two siblings collided, and their hug was so fierce that if a bystander didn't know any better, they'd guess the pair were fighting.