Love From the past

Chapter 2

Chapter 2

"I know our situation is waying on your also Joe. I know its hard for you and I am truly sorry." She states.

"I have to be honest, it's killing me that you are married to him. You don't know how much I want it to be me. How much I want you here with me. I need you." Joe answers.

"I know and I feel the same. I want to be with you, I need to be with you. I love you, Joe, I always have. It's just going to take time. You have to realize that. I have children, I have to figure this out, not just jump. At the same time, I want you to know, that for you, I am willing to let go of everything. You just have to give me time." She replies.

"I know, I just want to make sure you are willing. That I am not wasting my time. That you won't just leave me." Joe responds.

"I have no intention of leaving you ever again. You mean the world to me. You have my heart. You brought me back to the person I was so long ago, a person I thought was gone forever. I need you." She states.

"I feel the same about you, but you already know that. So we really are doing this?" Joe asks.

"Yes, I am, before jumping we need to be with each other more in person. I want to see you, I want to hold you, kiss you. I crave you so badly." She comments.

"I can see you this Thursday if you can get away?" Joe answers.

"Yes, just let me know where and what time and I will be there. I want you." She replies.

"I will pick you up at the usual place, and we can go back to my house. That way we can be alone." Joe states.

"Great, I want to be as close to you as I can. I missed you so much this last week, you wouldn't believe it." She comments.

"Yes, I would. I have been going crazy myself. I needed to get my thoughts together. I needed to see if I could let you go." Joe admits.

"Let me go? After all this time? After how much we mean to each other? After how long we have waited?" She asks.

"Babe, this is hard. I love you so much, and I want you so much it hurts badly. To see you married to him when it should be me. When I should have stepped up years ago when we were kids and asked you out properly, married you and those kids should be mine. We would have shared our life together, grew up together, grew old together. It just kills me inside. If you weren't able to leave him, then I couldn't go through with this." Joe admits.

"I am so sorry. I don't want to hurt you. I wish all those things as well, we just can't go back. Just look forward. We can spend our grow old together and share a lot of things together still. It wasn't meant back then, but I feel deep down it is now. We were kids and didn't know any better, we do now. I am able to leave him, I want to be with you. I want to grow old with you. I want so many things with you. You just have to know this will take time." Deeana answers.

"I know, I am fine with it. And even though we were kids, I still can't help but think what if. There are so many what-ifs." Joe reveals.

"I know, I have felt the same. We just can't go back." Deeana says.

"I know. I feel so much better talking to you. I am really sorry I stayed away. I wanted to see if I could, but it didn't work. My heart hurt from being away from you. The idea of letting go again ate at me. If I did this time, I knew our chances would be gone." Joe replies.

"Neither of us is going to let go this time. Remember no regrets? No second-guessing! We have done that for way too long. We wasted half our lives. I am so glad your back also. I missed you, I was lost without you. I kept trying to contact you in one way or another but you just wouldn't answer me. I was hoping that if I poured my heart out in those emails you would see how much I love you. How much I want you. I wanted to give you space at the same time, I just couldn't. I was lost and torn. I don't want us to do that ever again. Just tell me how you feel. I am here for you in every way you need. Any doubts we have to come to each other, ask so that we can help and tell the other the truth, instead of overthinking, driving ourselves mad." Deeana responds.

"I kept reading your emails, looking at your photos. It kept me close to you. Reading how you felt about me, amazed me.  How you feel about me after all these years amazes me. There are times I still don't think its real. That I am dreaming, but those emails kept me above water and it was like you were answering my doubts without me even asking them.  It just took me a while to come back." Joe admits.

"I was hoping they would put your doubts behind you. I knew it was more than work pushing you away. I could feel it, I just saw you were not able, to be honest with that, and you didn't want to hurt me. I do have to say you hurt me anyway by pushing me away. Please do not do that again. I felt so lost and hurt. I was empty and it was like I was trying to get your attention, but you just didn't care..like you just let me go without any thought." Deeana confesses.

"That's not how I felt, and I am sorry if it came off that way. I do care and do want you in my life. I just needed time to figure it out. I promise I won't do that again. I will always talk to you and let you know how I am feeling. I honestly can't wait till your mine and I won't have to worry anymore." Joe states.

"I am already yours, you need to see that. With him it's just a piece of paper, you are the one that holds my heart. You don't have to worry, I am not leaving you." Deeana answers.

"Ok, it will just take time for me to believe all this is happening." Joe comments.

"I know, your not the only one." Deeana replies.