Personal (Life Update 1)

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hey, so, i'm doing life updates now. i figured i should share some of the more lgbtq+ aspects of my life, so here we go. i came out to my aunt and cousins last month. they all took it pretty well, and my aunt even gave me some advice. they were really supportive of me and i'm grateful for that.

i've been experiencing some M A D gender dysphoria lately. i get jealous of other guys because they can live freely and i can't. i feel like society will always remind me that i was a girl. whether it's my birth certificate, passport, whatever. i'll always be reminded of that part of my past. my voice is too high pitched (i can't take testosterone) and i hate my body. even my mom points out how feminine it is. it's why i'm wearing a hoodie even though it's 80-90 degrees. sometimes i forget about it and sometimes i have a breakdown about it, it just depends. my friends are super supportive and are trying to get me to appreciate myself even though my appearance doesn't reflect who i am inside.

and to everyone else who also experiences gender dysphoria or is raised in a homophobic environment, it will get better. you can come out whenever you want to, don't pressure yourself into having to tell people. tell them when you're ready. talk to people about your identity, get help. i know some people don't have those kinds of resources or are just scared, and i know it's not easy but talking helps. get it out of your system. talk to yourself if you have no one to talk to. that might work just as well, especially considering no one will be around and you won't have to think about anyone judging you. venting can help you overcome your fears little by little, and if you don't want to talk that's fine too. everything will get better in time.

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