Chapter 13: Moments

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Haruka Nanase


It's Wednesday afternoon. I didn't think I'd mix in with Makoto's group this quickly, but here I am, playing Cluedo with them.

It's a rainy day today, so we can't go outside and sit in the woods like we would normally do. But playing a game inside is almost just as fun.

Cluedo isn't such a hard game, but I really notice that Makoto mind is being put to a test. Even though we all know what cards we have and what we're been shown by the others, Makoto keeps having to watch his paper.

"I think it was yellow, in the bathroom with the knife," Rei says. I think he's slowly but surely getting closer to the good answer. At least I'm on the same trail as him, but Nagisa and Rei aren't even close.

"So, Haruka," Rei says, turning to me. "Show me what you have."

I shake my head; I don't even have to glance down at my cards to know that I don't have any of the things Rei suspects. But I know for a fact that Makoto has the bathroom, but I think no one has either sir yellow or the knife.

Rei continues and asks Makoto, who does have to look through his cards, because he kind of forgets what objects, rooms and people he has every time.

Even though I have my eyes closed while Makoto shows his card to Rei, I'm one-hundred percent sure he showed Rei the bathroom card.

When I open my eyes again, Rei looks happy and proud. Like, after almost an hour of playing, he's finally discovered what the answer to end the game is.

We continue with my turn, I suspect yellow in the kitchen with the trophy, just to make sure that I'm not wrong by suspecting the knife. I am right, because Nagisa shows me the trophy.

After me there's Makoto, than Rin and lastly Nagisa before it's Rei's turn again. Rei starts moving towards the swimming pool in the middle of the board game, but I have to be there faster. I know the answer as well, and Rin also seems to be heading that way.

For the last rounds it's a stressing game of who's quickest, but Rei's there the quickest. Rin almost throws the board game off the table when Rei proudly says, "Yellow has murdered someone in the kitchen with the knife."

I'm thinking the same, but Nagisa and Makoto still weren't looking on that trail.

"I had no idea," Nagisa admits, while Rei slowly fiddles with the envelope to get out the cards.

"Yeah, me neither," Makoto says, awkwardly scratching the back of his head. "I thought it was blue for sure, but I guess I'm wrong."

Rei finally takes the cards from the orange envelope when the bell rings, which means we have to get to our last lessons.

Rin groans in frustration while Nagisa's soul basically seems to leave his body when he drapes himself onto the table and yells, "Why!"

Rei takes a quick look at the cards and tells us he's right while we're heading to class. And while I'm looking through the window in math, I still can't believe he beat me to getting to the pool the quickest.

***

After our last lesson of the day I head to doctor Daiki's office, because I have an appointment with him this afternoon. I don't have to wait, since he's already done with the person who came before me.

When I've taken a seat on the high table I look at doctor Daiki. My data is opened on his computer and I can see in green lines that I've actually been eating better and sleeping more.

"So, Haruka," doctor Daiki begins. "How are you doing?"

"Good." It's not a lie, I've been doing better now that I have a comfortable place to spend time and I actually think being here isn't the worst thing that has happened to me.

"That's great to hear." He smiles, but just shortly. Quickly after his face gets a little more serious. "And what about the side effects of the chemotherapy? Have you noticed anything different?"

I shrug; I guess I have been feeling more nauseated right before and after eating and there has been hair clumping in my pillow and clothes. Other than that I started to bruise more easily and I've had a bleeding nose once, but Nagisa immediately taught me what to do if that happens more often since he experiences that as well.

"Sometimes," I eventually answer.

"Nothing severe?" His eyes glare at me like he's almost hoping something hurts or some side effects are severe. But I shake my head, because nothing is bothering me.

"That's good," he says, giving me a kind smile. "Are you okay if I check some things anyway?"

I nod; it's his job, I don't even know why he's asking me if he can exanimate me.

I have to take off my shirt and sweatpants, and it's only now that I notice how big the bruise, of when I bumped into my desk yesterday, has gotten.

He checks for more bruises, but I know for a fact that I haven't been bumping into too many things lately and since I haven't been sporting I don't get bruises from training.

We weigh me, and I've lost quite a bit of weight. That's probably just because I haven't been exercising lately and my muscles are taking off. He also tells me that this isn't too worrying just yet. And for some reason he also finds it needed to see how tall I am, but that hasn't changed a bit.

Lastly he carefully takes a hand through my hair, which I find a terrible feeling because I can feel his nails scraping past my scalp. He takes out a handful of fuzzy clumps of hair. The same amounts I've been finding all over the place; in my clothes, pillow, sink or just floating through the air.

"That's completely normal," he says. I wonder if he tells me that because I look worried of something, because Nagisa already informed me that I'll probably get bald in not so long.

"Do you want me to see if I can get a wig for you?" doctor Daiki asks, his voice full of empathy. "One that looks like your own hair?"

I glance away and shake my head; it'll only feel itchy and not comfortable. For me it's either a cap or hat that I'm going to wear, or just walk around without hair until they start growing back again.

"Okay, if you don't want that, that's okay," he replies. "Apart from the side effects, have you been experiencing any kind of pain, uncomfortability or something like that?"

I shake my head. All the uncomfortability I've been experiencing is the fact that I can't shower with the neck catheter, but that's not something he can change. I just wish I didn't have to wash my hair in the sink every morning.

We talk a little about my sleeping and eating schedule, and what I'm eating and when I'm sleeping. According to doctor Daiki I seem to already be doing better than when I got here, and that a good schedule can do wonders.

It might be true, I think while I walk out of the doctor's office, but if wonders were true, I wouldn't be here and the friends I've made wouldn't be sick... 

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