Chapter 21: Still In Love

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Haruka Nanase


It's been five days since the Ferris Wheel drama, but I still haven't quite gotten the pain out of system. Every time Makoto's eyes meet mine it's like the wound is re-opened again.

Ever since Saturday I've been avoiding talking to Makoto, or looking at him too much; it's painful to see how every day he seems to be looking a little worse than the day before and that that's the reason he doesn't want me to have feelings for him or the other way around.

Talking about people who've been looking worse with every day that passes, Rin looks even paler than a ghost. He's clearly not feeling well.

This, I notice when we're sitting at the breakfast table that morning. Rin looks like he can pass out any moment, wheezing while he slowly eats his dry rice. It's like he's out of breath at all times of the day.

I stare at my food while I eat, that way I don't have to look at Rin's pale face and black circles or Makoto's sad and tired expression. Because it hurts, seeing either of them hurts.

Rei hasn't even shown up to breakfast, which seems to worry Nagisa. But he doesn't show it as much as any of the other two. But even before the bell rings Nagisa gets up and says, "I'm going to check on Rei, okay?" before walking away without even waiting for an answer.

We're left with the three of us and we sit in silence; or at least as silent as it gets, the wheezing and coughing and chatting of the other teenagers is still present. It makes me feel really uneasy, because normally Makoto would start a conversation when it's just the three of us, but now he's also quiet while he stares at his untouched plate of food.

We all get up when the bell rings and we head to class. Even before we reach the classroom, Rin stops walking.

Makoto and I both turn around when we hear the loud wheezing coming from Rin. The slurping of his cannula sounds terrifying and his dry cough sounds like his lungs are going to give up on him any second now.

"I'm going to." Rin pauses to cough, holding his hand in front of his mouth while he turns away from us. "I'm going to take a sick day off."

He doesn't look well, so I think that's a good choice. None of us can reply before Rin burst back into a coughing fit and a nurse, who was walking through the hallways, comes towards us.

"Are you okay?" she asks, laying her hand on Rin's shoulder.

Rin nods and stops coughing, but the nurse still takes him to the medical building to make sure he's really okay.

Makoto and I are left with the two of us. We walk into the classroom in silence and we both take a seat beside each other without saying a word. This awkward silence between us stays for the rest of the lesson even though we're supposed to work together; but since Makoto doesn't start a conversation with me and I don't know how to start one, we stay quiet.

Something about Makoto is really off, and I don't know if it's because I confessed to him or something else. But ever since it happened he's been more quiet than usual. And it scared me a little, but above all it makes me sad; I could be the cause of Makoto's depressed expression.

I think mister Fumihiro also notices the change in Makoto's behavior, because when we have to leave class for resting period he calls Makoto over to his desk to talk. When he does that, there's this look on Makoto's face. He just winces while he gets up and walks over to mister Fumihiro's desk, but somehow his expression seems worried and sadder than before.

Even though I know Makoto and I are probably going to spend our resting period apart from each other, I still wait for Makoto in the hallway. The other teenagers walk past me while I lean against the window, waiting for Makoto to finish his conversation with mister Fumihiro.

I'm waiting for almost ten minutes before Makoto walks outside, his eyes are red and his cheeks are flushed. The expression on his face goes from sad to surprised when our eyes meet.

Even though his eyes are the same as always, they seem duller somehow. As if the pale skin and sad expression took away their beautiful vibrant color.

"Uh," Makoto stammers, glancing away before he starts blushing even more. "I- thanks for waiting, Haruka."

I nod, because I don't know how to reply to that, and we start walking to the boys' dorms. It's that our rooms are on the same floor, otherwise Makoto would probably be weirded out by the fact that we haven't talked for a few days in a row and I still wait for him after classes.

While we're walking the only sound are our footsteps. At least, up to the point that we're halfway the big field. Makoto suddenly clears his throat and says, "So, what do you think about our English assignment?"

I look up, surprised that he's starting a conversation, even if it's just small talk. I missed talking to him, even though he always does all the talking.

I shrug, thinking about our assignment. We have to write a story of at least five hundred words in English.

"It's pretty stupid, right?" Makoto asks, chuckling awkwardly while scratching the back of his head.

I smile, because for some reason when I see Makoto doing that, chuckling and scratching the back of his head at the same time, it makes me smile. "Yeah, it is."

"I don't even know what to write about," Makoto continues. "What are you going to write about?"

I look down at the floor, thinking about what I'm going to write about. My thoughts quickly continue to think about Makoto's green eyes and about how for some reason I feel so much warmer than before. Maybe it is because my, now mainly bare, head is covered by a thick blue hat, but it's probably because Makoto's talking to me again.

We go on talking about the assignment, Makoto comes up with some great ideas for short stories; probably because he reads a lot of books himself. But none of the ideas really inspire him to actually write, he tells me.

Now that we're talking and actually laughing again, the walk to the dorms doesn't last long enough at all. Within no time we're inside and wandering through the mostly empty hallways.

"So, what are you going to do during rest period?" Makoto asks. He glances at me in curiosity and I wonder if I should ask him to spend some time together when I suddenly here a high-pitched sound.

It's this ear deafening screech, almost like some kind of alarm going off. I've never heard it before, but when my eyes meet Makoto's he looks terrified.

"Shit," he mumbles, already starting to run in the direction where the noise is coming from. "T-that's a med sensor!"

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Next Chapter: 
Who's med sensor was that? And why did it go off?

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