braincells at 3am

confidence

i open my mouth,
and try to speak.
something is stopping me;
i feel like such a freak.

only in front of strangers,
(people who i don't know)
i tend to swallow my words,
and put on a show.

the awkwardness i feel
fakeness filling my tone,
the moment i can walk away,
i want to be all alone.

i don't care about people's opinions,
except those who i think are better than me.
or those that i want to be friends with,
my desperation they can see.
why? does it matter?
they're someone i cannot be.

judgement and insecurities,
are things you can't run away from.
you have to accept their existence,
and live on.

i am better than that,
there's no use succumbing to doubt.
you'll grow to have the confidence, use this voice
and speak up in the crowd.

i open my mouth,
and try to speak.
i am comfortable;
i feel complete.