In The End

Chapter 3

She kept moving in and I closed my eyes as I braced myself for the kiss.  I noticed when her lips were suppose to hit mine, they didn't.  Then I felt something hit my shoulder.  I opened my eyes to see Lizzy's face no longer in mine.  I looked at my shoulder to see her head was laying on it, passed out.  She was so drunk she passed out on me.  I blew out a breath of relief.  I didn't have the strength to stop her and I knew once her lips would hit mine, I wouldn't have the will to break the kiss.  I was scum.  I hung my head back on the couch as I groaned.  This was all too much for me.  I slowly moved her onto the couch as I removed myself.  I looked at the drunk, sleeping woman and thought how I have ruined every relationship she has been in.  Did she love me?  I don't know.  But this wasn't okay.  She was my best friend, practically family.  My parents raised her.  We went through everything together.  How would my sister, my dad react if we ended up in some sort of relationship?  They probably be disgusted.  This wasn’t right.  My feelings towards her, her holding herself back from being happy cause of me, all of it, it was wrong.  I knew what I had to do.  But it wouldn't be easy but I had no choice.  I cleaned up the mess she left and put a blanket over her.  After tomorrow, I just hoped we could still be friends, I actually prayed we did.  Cause God knows after what I tell her, if she would still want to be.

*******

The following day was Saturday.  I decided to work.  I needed to finish up some things anyways.  But I dreaded the moment I had to go home.  I walked into the front door of my home and I heard Lizzy's voice rang out, "Is that you, Seth?"

"Who else would it be?"  I almost grumbled.  I knew she wouldn’t hear me.  Then I said loudly, "Yeah, it's me."

I walked in to see her at the kitchen counter, eating dinner.  "If you are hungry, there is more on the stove."

I shook my head.  "I ate at the office."

Then she smiled.  "So, you are off tomorrow, right?"  I nodded.  "How about we make tomorrow a movie day?  We haven't done it in so long, I thought it would be nice.  I wasted all my time with that ass, now I can focus on my best friend again."

"Um."  I felt uneasy and rubbed the back of my neck.  This was coming up way quicker then I expected.  "Actually, I am going to stay at Rachael's for a bit."

"Why?"  She seemed perplexed.

I sighed as this was much harder then I expected.  "Look, I love that we have never been away from each other, not even for a moment, but don't you think it is a bit much."

"What?"  Now she was more confused.

"I think it is time we live separate lives, Lizzy.  This cannot be healthy how much we depend on each other.  I think it is about time you find your own place, for your own good.  I mean, how can we expect to live full lives if we are tethered to one another.  We work together, live together.  Something has got to change, to allow us to live full lives."  I explained.

"Did I do something wrong?"  Her voice sounded off.  I looked at her and tears were building in her eyes.

"No!  No, of course not."  Then I looked away as this became too painful.  "But I feel like I am holding you back."

She quickly got up and rushed ro me as she cupped both of my cheeks, trying to force me to look at her but my eyes avoided her.  "Don't say that."  She was crying now.  "You have never held me back.  So, please do not ask me to go."

I moved my hands to her and pulled them off of me.  I still refused to look at her.  "My decision remains."

She quickly grabbed my cheeks again and tried to get me to look at her again.  My eyes remained averted.  "Seth, please look at me."  She begged as she sobbed.