Chapter 7

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As soon as I turn at the end of the hallway and I'm out of Harry's line of sight, I can't help but burst into even more tears. Seeing Harry with that other girl broke my heart. Sure, in my 4 years with him I've seen him date other people and go out with other people, but I've learnt how to not let it bother me. Now here I am in some foreign country, holding an apple and a croissant in the stairwell of some random hotel, crouched down in a ball and crying my eyes out.

I hear footsteps coming and for fear it's Harry, his new girl or one of the members of the band, I bite my lip to stop the tears from falling and walk up the stairs making sure my eyes are covered. I can't let the stupid, stupid mistakes I've made in the last two days ruin anymore of my time here in Sydney.

Once I make it back to the hotel room, I quickly eat both the apple and croissant. It hits me that I've barely eaten anything in the last day, and filling my stomach has already made me feel so much better.

I pack away all my belongings into my suitcase, thankful I had already tidied up most of it earlier this morning, and walk out the door.

I make it to reception, where the same lady from the other night greets me with a smile.

'Hi, I'm not sure if you remember me, but I'm staying in room 206. If possible, I would really like to switch my room.'

'G'day, of course I remember you!' She says with a smile, and I notice her Australian accent makes her sound even more friendly.

'So..changing rooms? Are you and your boyfriend wishing to move together? Was there any issues with the room?' She asks, worried the hotel room isn't up to scratch.

'Oh..uh..no. He's not my boyfriend, but um..just me. He's going to stay in that room. I'd just like to move by myself, if that's possible.' I put on my best brave voice, and hope my eyes don't give away my sadness and the fact I was crying just half an hour ago.

'Oh..of course. Did you have a preference on where you'd like to move to? Was there a specific room style you wanted or is anything suitable?' She asks. I think she knows I'm not exactly mentally stable at this point, and I can tell she's being extra nice.

'No, anything is fine. I'm really sorry to be such a nuisance.' I say, as she types on her keyboard.

'Not at all! It's really my pleasure. I've only got two standard rooms available at the moment because Sydney is very popular with tourists during this time of the year. Usually it's an additional feed of $200 for last minute bookings, but I'll let this one slide.' She says with a mischievous grin. I can't believe this woman's kindness.

'Thank you so much, I really appreciate it. Do you want me to pay now?' I query.

'No that's alright, you can pay once you leave with the rest of your group if you'd like. Here's your card..it's room 313 on the third floor.'

'Thank you again.' I say with a smile, and walk over to the elevators.

Once I make it to my new room, I instantly feel a lot calmer. Now I'm in my own Harry-free space, and I feel like I can breathe without worrying about what's going to happen next with Harry.

I decide to order room service because I'm still really hungry..I guess that's what happens when you barely eat for a day. Out of habit, I look at the vegetarian options, but when I realise Harry isn't with me, I order bacon and eggs just to spite him.

While I wait for my second breakfast to arrive, I jump into the shower to wash away the events of the last day.

I leave my shower with a lot more clarity than when I entered. I settle on the fact that my feelings towards Harry have only been skewed because of the stress we're under. We're reaching the end of the tour, and Harry and I have spent so much time together in the last 6 months and our bond has only grown stronger. I decide that because of this, and the errors with the rooms, I've gotten my platonic love for Harry confused with real love.

Just as I finish sorting through these thoughts, I hear a knock on the door to tell me my room service has arrived.

I eat the bacon and eggs, and I realise that I've missed the taste of bacon since I basically only eat vegetarian now; it's just easier that way when I'm always with Harry.

Once I finish my meal, I check the time on my phone. To my surprise, I discover it's only 10am. Harry's show starts at 7pm tonight, but we always arrive 3 hours before he starts, anyway. Despite everything that has happened with Harry, I'm still his assistant..for now, and I should be at his show regardless of everything else that has happened. This gives me about 5 hours to do whatever I want before I need to be back at the hotel to leave for the show.

It's rare for me to have a day that isn't consumed by Harry, and I'm quite thrilled by today's freedom. I decide on taking a day for myself to go shopping and buy some new clothes. I've been wearing the same clothes for the last 6 months now, and I'm getting bored. Fashion has always been a passion of mine, and I think I deserve some new clothes anyway.

I decide that my current outfit of black leggings and one of Harry's old hoodies isn't appropriate for a day out on the town, so I slip on a pair of straight leg cream coloured jeans, a dark green one shoulder top and my go-to black high top converse. As much as I love wearing dresses and heels for work, it's always nice to be a bit more comfortable.

I spend the next 4 hours making my way all around Sydney and shopping until I drop. I weave in and out of different boutiques and department and clothing stores, ending my shopping spree with bags and bags on each arm. I even meet a few fans, who all ask to take pictures and ask about Harry. Even when I'm not with him, his presence never leaves my side.

When I finally make it back to the room, I realise I've got an hour before I need to start getting ready. My feet hurt and I could do with a nap, so I set my alarm to wake up in an hour.

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My eyes slowly open to the sound of my alarm, and just as planned, it's 3 now, so I've got half an hour to get ready.

I opt for a navy blue midi length business dress that I bought today. The dress is fitted and highlights my curves, but it's still very professional and looks classy. I go for very light makeup, choosing to curl my eyelashes and apply some concealer and mascara. I even have 10 minutes before I need to meet everyone in the lobby, so I decide to curl the ends of my hair and leave it to hang past my shoulders.

Just before I walk out the door I fill my bag with various items I might need for tonight, and check my appearance in the mirror. To my surprise, I really like how I look and thank myself for purchasing this dress.

As soon as I reach the lobby, Ny Oh and Sarah rush up to me and ask me if I'm alright and compliment me on my appearance. I tell them I took some panadol for my 'headache', and spent the day exploring Sydney. Not totally a lie. I spend my time chatting with everyone else in the group, including the band and Harry's team, and I finally start to feel normal again.

This all goes down the drain the minute Harry walks into the lobby. He looks tired and I can only assume this is due to his hangover. Today he's wearing a matching mustard yellow suit, with what looks to be a black singlet underneath. We make eye contact and I quickly look away, not trusting myself now that he's here in front of me. Already, I'm forcing myself to ignore how good he looks in his outfit and I quietly scold myself for backtracking on all the progress I made today after just one glance from Harry.

Suddenly, my daydreaming is cut short because one of the members of Harry's management rushes us all out to the car. In a way I'm thankful for the distraction, because I don't know what to say to Harry or how I'm supposed to act. I mean really, am I even his assistant anymore? I can feel the wall I've been building in the last 6 hours starting to crumble under the weight of his green eyes, and I realise everything I told myself in the hotel room was a lie. I knew it then and I know it now. I don't see Harry as just my boss or even just a friend anymore, and I might as well stop denying the truth.

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