Only Numb

Chapter Three

  The drinks were getting poured one after another as more an more people started to enter the house.  Everyone looked amazing and it made me feel so out of place and so insecure all i could think was

I'll never be able to pull something like that off

Everyone was dancing and the lights were changing colors; everyone had a drink in their hand some even had two. With all these people here it makes me wonder how many people here actually know Jennah. And thats when I heard it a faint shouting of my name

"KARI"

"HEY KARI"

I turn around a low and behold it was my good friend's Cody and Mark. I've known Cody since middle school and Mark was his boyfriend. I'm so glad to see them because i knew no one else here and i would look like a deer in headlights roaming the place.

" You son of a bitch! I miss you so much!"

Cody and Mark have been gone for a whole month in South Africa, they love to travel and they always bring me back some cool gifts.

"Well maybe you should come with us next time we leave town"

"Yeah right, you honestly think I'll have the time"

We both laughed and enjoyed our drinks, Cody was always there for me and knew about me more than anyone but he doesn't know what goes on in my marriage.

"Kari you look so amazing tonight, you sure you're married? because I guarantee someone is bound to try and scoop you"

"Mark I highly doubt that'll happen even if i was single"

And that's the truth

I filled my cup and scavenged through my purse for a light and a cigarette, It was getting too hot in here and i need to breathe. I exchanged nods with Mark and Cody offering to come outside with me but they declined.

Guess going alone won't be too bad

I moved my way through the sea of moving bodies making my way to the back porch without dropping things. The gust of cold air touching my hot skin felt so good as i made my way to a chair. There were a few people outside already but since i didn't know most of the people here i separated myself, plus a small break away from people isn't so bad. There were lounging chairs around the pool that were only available to sit at and so i sat down got comfortable and laid down and smoked my cigarette as the sun had only a few minutes left til it was dark out. I closed my eyes and took a puff, relaxing my feet in these exhausting heels and listening to the DJ play house music inside.  But as my eyes were closed I sensed a shadow breaking the light.

I'm just trying to relax ugh

I opened my eyes as I took a drag, I saw this man standing right in front of me, tall, slicked back brown hair, tight jeans with a belt chain, and whoa a  green shirt so tight it's practically outlining every curve of his muscles.

" This spot taken?"

Shit

"Hello?"

"Uh  yeah- I mean no, no one is sitting there"

"You don't mind?'

"No i mean, it's not like i own the place"

WHY DID  YOU SAY THAT

" Hmm i wouldn't know i don't know who's house this is"

He chuckles a bit as he sits down on the lawn chair next to me, he looked so good i couldn't keep my eyes in my head. As i look around to see who's around and to check if we were the only two i see a few women in bikinis walking our way. As they walked past they say hello to the man covered in tattoos, he doesn't say anything just a nod.

"You know them?"

"Not really, women do that to me all the time"

"What? Flirt?"

"I mean i guess, yeah but i don't care"

" i mean if i were them i would've done the same thing"

"Why didn't you?"

"Uh well- because"

"Because why?"

"I'm not them, i don't look like that aha"

"You don't have to look like them to get a mans attention"

"That is so not true"

I started to feel more insecure and i knew it was my fault but you couldn't blame me. These women were covered in tattoos, nice ass, in a bikini, and water dripping from their bodies. No man would look at me like that, especially if i was standing next to those women.

"I've never been the woman a man chose over a chick like that"

" well maybe you aren't meeting the right guys"

He got up from the lounge chair and flicked his cigarette into the pool.

"It was nice to meet you uhhh-"

"Kari"

"Adonis"

Even his name suited him, this man dripped in hotness. He kinda gave me a half smile and ran his hand through his hair as he looked up and walked off. He was gorgeous, but being around a man like that made me even more insecure. When I got married I knew I settled for less because i knew that if i didn't marry him then who would? Now I know my regrets about it all.

⨳⨳⨳

As the night went on I finally found Jennah and we took shot's and got so drunk. Everything was becoming a blur, everyone around me was dancing or doing drugs. I was stumbling around the house and it was becoming hard to even walk straight, I know if i don't find my way home at some point in the night it'll be worse than coming home tonight drunk out of my mind. But I was scared; being trapped is the worst and I have nowhere to escape when things go south. Nowhere to run when he puts even just a finger on me, it's probably my fault because i knew once i said ' I do' all my freedom was gone.

One thing about me when I get drunk and at parties, I really want to cuddle. I know it's not a good idea considering I'm married but I scanned the room to find a guy who I could cuddle with by the end of the night. And that's when I saw him, Adonis was across the room on the other side of the crowd of dancing bodies. He was in the corner talking to one of those chicks from earlier in the bikini's, I guess she finally found her clothes. I knew I had to have him as my cuddle buddy for the night, but I also knew that no matter how drunk he could be it wouldn't happen because even alcohol can't make me look like the woman he's talking to. All of a sudden he looks my way and then back to her, I was still looking at him and probably making googly eyes.

"I'm such an idiot"

I look down at my drink debating on if I should even finish it, I start to feel a presence near me something so unfamiliar yet comforting.

"I saw you staring at me a second ago, wanted to make sure you're okay"

still looking into my cup and debating I knew it was Adonis.

Say something IDIOT

"So fucking dumb"

" Uh excuse me?'

" Oh- I- Sorry, I was talking to myself"

" You know If people see you're talking to yourself they might think you're crazy"

" Oh? You think I'm crazy now?"

" No just too drunk to function"

My weight started to shift from side to side, I needed a spot to sit and fast and somehow I managed to push past Adonis and everyone else to go to the lounge chairs again. But with my stumbling I embarrassingly tripped in front of the people outside and then-

SPLASH !!!!

I made it right into the pool.