"If this is about the shoe polish, I just wanna say that it was Remus' fault."
"It looked tasty."
"I don't know what you're talking about, and I'm honestly too scared to ask." Janus crossed his arms. "I was talking to Logan the other day."
Remus smirked. "Oh~?" He sat down next to Janus. "Did you take my advice?"
"Following him around until he dates me isn't good advice, Remus. It's just creepy."
"If someone did that to me, I would date them." Remus shrugged. "And I could've made that worse."
"I know you could've, and I'm thankful you didn't."
"So, what were you saying? It's rare that you call me for anything." Cassius said. Janus frowned at that, but didn't comment.
"Logan offered to let us move onto their side of the mind palace." Janus finished.
"No." Cassius answered, walking away.
"Wha--Cass!" Janus called out. He scowled when Cassius ignored him and continued walking away.
"Don't worry, January! I'm all for it! I have to make sure Roman and Virgil use condoms!" Remus chirped, patting him on the shoulder.
"Why?" Janus asked, raising a brow. (IT AUTOCORRECTED TO CROW AND I'M LAUGHING SO HARD FOR SOME REASON)
"I dunno how we work! Virgil could get pregnant!" Remus exclaimed.
"How do you know Virgil is the bottom?" Janus asked.
Remus shot him the most sarcastic look he could muster.
"Fair."
"So what are you going to do about Sassy Cassy?" Remus hummed.
"We can't force him to move with us." Janus huffed. "But I don't wanna leave him here by himself."
"Why not? He won't care. He doesn't have any emotions." Remus summoned some sort of contraption and began fiddling with it.
"I just want him to know that we wanna be friends with him again." Janus groaned. "Which has proven to be very difficult."
"Well, if you want him to move with us, then you have to give him the benefits of moving in." Remus offered, twisting something inside of his machine. "Specifically, stuff that benefits him!"
"Oh, that's easy!" Janus nodded. Remus rose a brow, glancing at him.
"Really? Can you give me some examples, then?"
"We get to hang out with the others more!"
"Cassius doesn't like hanging out with the others. I'm pretty sure it's one of the few things he dislikes."
"Uh, news will get to him quicker!"
"News of what? My brother's love life?"
"He wont have to walk as far to talk to the light sides?"
"Janus, when has he ever willingly talked to a light side?"
"...there's a higher chance of him getting accepted...?"
"That doesn't even make sense."
"Yeah, I knew that one was a stretch." Janus ran a hand through his hair. He glanced at Remus' device. "What are you working on?"
It was a box, with a single button on it. Attached to the box was a tube.
Remus smirked, handing it to Janus. "Press the button."
Janus grimaced, already regretting his decision to ask. He hesitantly pressed the button.
The tube began vibrating.
Janus blinked, before slowly looking at Remus. "What is in my hands right now?"
"It's a semen extractor."
---
Patton was alone.
An endless blackness was stretched out in front of him. He wasn't really sure how long he had been there.
He idly wondered how it had come to this. He had been on top of the world, and now he sat at the bottom.
It was quiet. He couldn't even hear himself breathe.
There's something fascinating about this level of silence. It feels like you're in danger. Like at any moment, something will happen. Like the buildup to a disaster.
Patton didn't feel like he should try and break the silence. He wasn't sure what would happen if he did.
He was going crazy. He was sure of it. Did he deserve this? All he wanted was for Thomas to be perfect.
Why couldn't they see what he saw? As long as Deceit, Remus, and Cassius were around, Thomas couldn't be perfect.
"The end justifies the means," that's what Patton had been living by all these years. He knew what it must look like to others. Like he was the "villain" in this story.
Maybe he was.
But he did it all for Thomas.
At least, that's what he had been telling himself.
Well, it was too late to doubt himself now.
"The end justifies the means." Patton whispered, as if making a promise to himself.
The end justifies the means.
---
After being beaten up by Janus, Remus decided to go hang out with Roman again.
He had checked the Imagination, only to find that Roman had left already. So, he was on his way to Roman's room.
He knocked on the door, frowning when he received no response.
So he popped into Roman's room.
He was about to announce his arrival, before he stopped and stared at the scene in front of him.
Roman and Virgil were passionately making out on the bed, Roman pinning Virgil's hands.
Now, the average person would be horrified.
But Remus was actually kind of impressed.
Of course, he would have to break this up eventually. He wanted to hang out and he couldn't really do that while they were on first base.
He decided to look through Roman's movie collection while they were busy.
Ratatouille
Remus nodded. A classic. When Remus first saw the cover of this movie, he thought it would be about the chef using the rats as food and serving them to oblivious customers. He was severely disappointed.
Cinderella
Remus preferred the original version more than Disney's. He had been hoping for at least the toe cutting. He was, again, severely disappointed.
Remus spotted another movie, picking it up. He cringed.
"Simba's Pride? Really?" Remus asked, glancing at Roman.
Roman and Virgil jumped, scrambling away from each other.
"Remus!" Roman squawked, face beet red.
"The one time you're quiet." Virgil grumbled.
"What happened to your face?!" Roman exclaimed, pointing at him.
"Huh? Oh, you mean the black eye? I'll show you my new invention and it'll all make sense--"
A/N:
TELL ME WHY I THOUGHT UP AN ENDING FOR THIS BOOK WHILE WRITING THIS CHAPTER
