Life as a Minecraft Mob

Enderman

(Translated from Endertongue)

I hate them all. All the filthy humans. I was one once, but now, I am transformed into a greater being.

In fact, I hate them so much that every time one of them looks at me, I attack them. The world would be a better place without them, after all. This blocky world belonged to us mobs first, not the intrusive humans.

Long ago, when I was one of the disgusting beings called humans, I hated myself so much that I sought help. I searched far and wide in the infinitely-rendering world of Minecraft, until I finally found what I was looking for. The End portal.

It was like a Nether portal, but instead of glowing purple, it glowed pitch black. I had heard tales of this place - that it was filled with emptiness, and black, but if you could defeat the fierce dragon that lay within, you would receive an astounding reward. I took a deep breath, and jumped in.

The world was bleak, and empty. All that was in the world was lots of grey-green blocks, and a sleeping black dragon. I tentatively tiptoed towards it. Even though I had come prepared with diamond armour and swords, the beast was enormous, and terrifying as well. I poked it with my sword.

The dragon immediately gave a huge cry, and, lifting into the air with one stroke of its powerful wings, spoke.

"Human, hast thou comest to slay me?" it roared.

"No, I seek help," I shouted in reply. In the dragon's eyes I could see surprise.

"Art thou able to... comprehend these words of mine?" it asked, in a quieter voice. I was surprised as well when it said this, as I had thought that everybody could understand the black dragon.

"Well... anyway, I hate this body. I have heard amazing tales of your power, and want to know if you could change my body," I shouted. The dragon thought for a moment before replying.

"I shall grant thy request... close thine eyes," it instructed. I did as told. "Do not open them, for the consequences could be dire."

I felt myself rising into the air, and felt the air rushing around me. I gasped, but kept my eyes firmly shut. The air rushed faster, and faster.

"This is the most difficult part," the dragon cried, "Do not open thine eyes yet. You may feel some pain."

Then I felt a small pain in my body. I thought that it would fade, but it just got larger, and greater, until it was almost unbearable. "Nearly there!" said the dragon, and the pain reached its peak. I couldn't endure it any more, and my eyes snapped open. The air immediately stilled, 

"What hast thou done!" howled the dragon, and we plummeted. I hit the ground with a bump.

"Did it work?" I asked, and the dragon shook its head. I looked into one of its shiny scales and saw my reflection staring back.

"Oh my Notch!" I screamed. I looked horrible. I was still humanoid in shape, but my arms and legs were thin and elongated. My skin was pitch black, and my eyes were purple-pink. "How did this happen."

"I was trying to transform thee into another dragon..." wept the dragon. "I cannot fix thee now. Thy body is ruined forever."

However, now that I was over the initial shock, I actually found myself quite attractive... in my own way. I was dark and mysterious, and I wondered if any side effects had appeared as a result. I caught sight of my items lying in a circle a few blocks away.

I walked over to them, and somehow I got there in an instant. The dragon gasped and I turned. "T-thou hast the ability to teleport," it stuttered.

"Woah," I breathed, and tried it again. This was a strange but brilliant side effect. I teleported to my items and attempted to pick up my sword. However, instead, I picked up the block beneath it. "What the-"

"Curious," commented the dragon, smirking and staring into my eyes. Immediately I teleported over to it and attacked it.

"Don't you dare laugh at me," I snarled, and let it go. Again there was surprise in its eyes.

"Ye carry a great strength," it said.

"I like this body," I whispered, smiling. "I shall call myself... endman, in homage to this place. That doesn't sound nice, though... ah! I know. Enderman."

"Good," said the dragon. "May I work with thee? Two creatures uniting their power to become one."

"I will not stay in the End, but I shall leave my offspring here," I said.

"I shall change my name, too. Enderdragon sounds good."

I nodded, and said, "I shall be back." Then I teleported away.

Over the years many changes were made. More endermen joined the End, and the End portal was changed to make it more secure, so that it needed twelve eyes of ender to access the End.

That brings us to the present day. Endermen are strong beings. Do not attack them.