Impeccable Love (On Hold)

Her Savior

THE SOUND of mum's voice made me put down the novel I was engrossed in and it brought me back to real life. My fantasy world was by far better than this. If only there was a way I could teleport myself into my make believe world— into the world novelists helped us create—and never return, I would have done that a long time ago. But then that was only wishful thinking. Reality, as they say, is the only thing that is real. 

"Tasha, why did you leave church early without even informing me?" Mum asked as she walked into my room. Joshua trailed behind her. Mum didn't look particularly happy. 

"I'm sorry mum, but I just couldn't bear to see those children celebrating father's day with joy and Joshua wasn't part of them." 

Mum expression morphed into a sad one. "Josh, go to your room and change into something else, okay?" Mum said to Joshua to which he nodded his head and walked out. 

Mum moved closer and sat down on the bed, facing me. My head was bowed down. Real life made me sad. Mum took a deep breath and raised my chin up. "Look at me dear, I understand that you loved your father so much and you don't feel happy that he isn't alive, but sulking and getting worked up over it wouldn't bring him back, neither would it do you any good. I also really loved him, and believe me when I say his death traumatized me. But I had to be strong, to get over it because of you and Joshua. If I had decided to be bitter about it, it would have definitely affected you both and even me. So Tasha, think of others around you. Think about Joshua. I understand your pain because I've been there but you've got to let go. It's only going to affect your mental health if you don't and I'm sure your father wouldn't want that for you."

"I'm trying mum, but it's not very easy. Each time, I'm reminded of him when I see others with their dad or others talking about theirs."

"Be happy for them. God knows best."

God? As a matter of fact, I resented God. Whenever mum brought God into the matter, it always infuriated me. "But dad was a good man. There are a lot of awful men out there. If God knew best, he should have killed those ones and spared dad for us." I said bitterly. 

"Tasha!" Mum chided. "Don't! Have you got no fear for the lord?" There was a frown on her face and a long silence ensued between us. 

"I'm sorry mum." As I said, my vision became blurry. Tears welled up in my eyes and when I blinked, the tears trickled down. 

"God didn't kill your father, he didn't! He doesn't kill. Have you not been studying your Bible or at least been listening to sermons in church? John ten verses ten says the thief comes to steal, to kill and to destroy. But Jesus came to give abundant life and Jesus is God in the flesh. So if Jesus says he doesn't kill, it means God doesn't kill. God didn't kill your father."

I wiped the tears off my eyes and sniffed, "But scriptures also said God gives and takes away."

"Who made that statement in scriptures?" Mum asked. She was already beginning to sound like her Bible study teacher self. 

"I don't know."

"It wasn't God or Jesus. It was a man like you and me, a man that wasn't above mistakes. It was Job. The folks of old didn't really know the character of God that clearly so that's why Job in his ugly situation at that time could say God gives and take away. But Jesus has come to show us the way. To teach us who God really is and if he says God doesn't kill, it means God doesn't kill. So dear, quit thinking God killed your father. God loves you and cares about how you feel. He doesn't like you in this state and His desire is to make you feel better. You've got to allow him. You've got to see him as a father who is always there, who would never forsake you. You've got to see him as a good father."