Chapter 1

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Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatahu to the beautiful souls out there.
Here i come with the 1st chapter of this book.
Please excuse the grammatical and spelling mistakes.I would work on them later after completion of this story.

Please shower your infinite love.

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"No disaster strikes except by permission of Allah. And whoever believes in Allah — He will guide his heart. And Allah is knowing of all things."
                                 (Holy Quran 64:11)

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It is an exhilarating, beautiful, lively and  brilliant sparkling day in the midst of July, The sun is out in full force, the sky a transparent blue.
I am lying on my back, my posture fixed and settled on the bench placed in one of the corners of the graveyard,placed besides me are a bunch of lilac flowers.
My eyes are closed feeling the beauty of this place, and I am deeply listening to the intermittent chirping of nearby birds.
People may think that being at a graveyard is scary. But it's completely opposite to me. It's not scary at all. This is a place which makes me breathe like a normal human.

It makes me feel loved because amongst all the bodies buried here, this one, specifically six-foot in this entire graveyard where my eyes are fixed at ( I presumably don't know how many acres of land there is in this graveyard) is where the most essential part of my family, the one whom I miss a lot, the only one who gave birth to me, My Mom, My dearest Ammi, The light of my life is buried.
My soul craves to meet her.

My eyes are fixed on the nameplate that's dug on my mother's grave. It reads rest in peace Mrs.Sakina Rehman. My legs move past the bench where I was seated 2 seconds back, and they take me to my mom's grave.

So Here I am standing in front of the grave of my mom. Tears pool up at the corners of my eyes. I place the bunch of lilac flowers on her grave which I had bought earlier.  My mom was a sucker for lilac flowers.I still remember how dad described her love for them. This memory of her's is sealed forever in my heart.

I slowly bend down and place my head on her grave. As my head touches the soil, a smile tugs its way to my lips. I close my eyes and savor the warmth of the soil on my face. I start reciting some Qur'anic verses and blow it on myself and pray for my mom.
As I look up towards the sky and soak up the rays emitting from the scorching sun, I think about my past in which I miss my family. I always craved for a motherly figure. Though I had my step mother Asiya, Life was tough without my mom, and her absence can never be filled by anyone.

When my mum died, my baba became my everything. My Baba is my mum, my dad, my everything. He is my world and my entire universe. My Baba's love encompasses all the struggles and the darkness I felt, and I still experience it in my life.

My mind floats away into a space where chronology doesn’t count. I am back in the days from my childhood, lost in a daze and talking to my mom about the fondly and cherished moments I had spent together with my mum, dad and my grandmom as a family.

Now tears pool faster around my eyes, and as I couldn't control them, they broke down like pearls emitting from its deserved source.

I still remember the day a three-year-old child was weeping for his mother while my entire family was busy with the preparations of the funeral, and my baba was completely in shock with the loss of my mom. This memory has left an unhealthy and incurable scar which  is freshly engraved on our hearts forever. No amount of sadness or happiness  can  encompass this.
As far as I know, Baba still mourns your loss. You are still the queen of his heart.

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