After (Y/N) had picked up Elliot and put him to bed, she got changed and made herself a cup of tea, despite being tired. She wanted a moment to relax and decompress from the day.
That led her mind to wander back to the good old days when her partner was still alive. All the memories she had of their little family. She missed it. She missed them. And then there were the nightmares on top of all that.
Their memory plagued her, definitely. Moving on didn't feel right to them, even though (Y/N) knew she needed to. It's what they would have wanted. In fact, they had told her so before they went off to the war.
She took a sip of her tea to ease her throat which was tightening, due to the tears threatening to fall. She debated taking a bath, but she knew that wouldn't help. She needed to talk to someone. So, slipping on her slippers, she discarded her tea, picked up Elliot out of bed and headed up the stairs to 221b. It was common knowledge to those that lived here that Sherlock rarely slept, and she wouldn't mind talking to him into the dawn.
A gentle knock, and he was at the door. "(Y/N)? Shouldn't you be asleep?" he asked quietly, noting the sleeping child in her arms.
She nodded, but he ushered her in when he noticed the tears in her eyes. "I needed to talk to someone. I can't sleep. My mind is racing."
He knew that feeling all too well and sat down on the couch, (Y/N) sitting next to him. She held Elliot and rocked him, and Sherlock offered to hold him when she needed a break. "What's wrong?" he asked softly.
"I...keep having nightmares, Sherlock. About my old partner, John's buddy from the war." she spoke. Again, she already felt tears ready to fall down her cheeks. "I'm throwing a coming home party, and then the military shows up, telling me they died because they were a traitor to our country."
Sherlock nodded and gently took her hand in his, squeezing it gently. "(Y/N), I can assure you that they are, and never were, a traitor. Your brain just...likes being mean to you and taunting you about something that was out of your control."
She understood that, and tried ignoring if for so long. Then she was smiling and wiping away tears. "I remember when we took Elliot to the beach for the first time. He loved it, and the two of us watched as he chased seagulls and built sandcastles." she chuckled, more tears running down her cheeks. She wasn't sad, no. Just reminiscing. And Sherlock didn't know what came over him when he brought her into a hug, rubbing her back. "It's alright," he whispered.
(Y/N) shook her head as she cried into his shoulder. "I just want to forget it all sometimes, you know?" she said. "I feel that it would be easier."
Gently, Sherlock brought her face out from his shoulder, and gave her a soft look. "(Y/N), I know you want to forget, but that's not what they would want. And it's okay to remember. It's okay to miss them. Lastly, it's okay to move on, too." he spoke.
That echoed in her mind. It's okay to move on, too. It's okay to remember. She nodded again, kissing Elliot's head as she felt her mind feel at ease for the first time tonight. "Is it alright if I stay a bit longer, Sherlock?"
"Of course, (Y/N). And I'll stay up with you." She smiled at that, knowing he already knew what she was going to ask. "Elliot can sleep in my bed, if you like?"
She shook her head. "I appreciate the offer, Sherlock, but I just want to hold him. Helps keep me grounding in some way."
He respected that. And as the two of them laid there, eventually with her chest against his, holding her little boy, Sherlock wished that this was his reality. But he could only wish for that. Before she'd come up, John had gone up to bed early, planning on asking her out tomorrow. Yet here he was; he was the one holding her.
He smiled at that, and when he was sure she had fallen asleep, he pressed a gentle kiss to the top of her head. "Sweet dreams, (Y/N)." he mumbled, before falling asleep himself.
I'll make up for all of your tears
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A.N: Hi guys, I hope you all are enjoying CALM so far. I'm having a blast writing it.
Now, this chapter is more of a filler, obviously, but we're getting to the good bits. Promise. One for John, and one for Sherlock.
Not much to say for this author's note, so, I hope you are all doing well.
Until next time,
~Em
YOU ARE READING
C A L M
Fanfiction(Y/N) is a single parent taking care of her son, Elliot, after the death of her partner. She's only just started going back to work, all thanks to her partner's old war buddy, John Watson, who lives upstairs in 221b and is able to babysit all the ti...
