75% Chocolate

Part V- The opportunity of a lifetime (that I don't get)

Grade 10

You must be wondering why I skipped grade 9. Yeah, everything in that year was pretty boring. 'Why?' you ask. Being honest, I don't remember much from it but we all want to get to the action in this story right? The drama, the heartbreak, just not the actual past, so here we are: grade 10.

September 20XX

And yet another school year. The nervousness felt by everyone as they enter the school building, hoping to be in the same classes as someone they know. Well lemme tell you, I definitely was lucky this year. I had at least one person that I knew in each class. I actually looked forward to my classes in that semester and hey, I got closer to Ava and Ella so that was really nice...

...and so semester one passed in a flash. I joined the field hockey team again. Hell yea, can you imagine a jock Forrest? I can't. I tried talking the Elliot more (but my love life is irrelevant in high school). I suffered from the immense amount of work and probably pulled at least three all-nighters. Such a classic high school experience. This was also the year that Emma started liking Damien, and I was in complete support of it.

November 2019

This was probably one of those moments that would have changed my life dramatically if it had played out the way I wanted it to.

It was a fairly warm Saturday and I woke up for my volunteering like I usually do. But today was different. Today was the day, I could change my career entirely. I hands start shaking the minute I get in the car. From excitement? Yeah no. It was probably from nervousness. At the center, there's only one cat; Ricky. I laughed at that name and how generic it sounded. God it sounded more like a human name than something you would name a cat. Okay, back to the story. I spend my 2 hours cleaning up the place, playing with him and almost getting scratched. How nice. I talk to the cat and tell him that I'm auditioning for a company and how nervous I am. I sing a bit of the song I was planning to do. The cat not having any knowledge in singing, just stared at me. Yeah, it sounds weird but it made me feel a bit less nervous so I can say that animal therapy (if that's what you count what just happened) does work. Somehow my parents let me do this and here I have that chance. I enter the building shaky and nervous and I walk out vibrating like crazy. I met a girl (who, may I add, was incredibly good looking) and that's where I got the nickname JJ. I think that was the first time I had someone I wasn't familiar with call me a nickname.

Here's what really happened during that audition. I entered this church building where the company was holding auditions and I immediately felt out of place. Fuck, it was to become an idol. People of all different ages were there. I saw this one guy warming up and holy shit he was good at break dancing. They gave me a form to fill out and I took forever just staring at it. What was I supposed to write down as my talents anyways? I can kind of play instruments?? I debated between vocals and dance. I was mediocre at both. I ended up choosing to audition for vocals and wrote everything related to music on that sheet. I think I was forgetting something though.. (that's called foreshadowing. I didn't put down that I could dance in case my singing failed.) I sit down and try to calm myself. Nope, not working. This girl behind me, Vivian, introduced herself. Wow, a hit to my self confidence 'cause she was definitely one of the most pretty girls there. We started talking and getting to know each other a bit. Time passed by a little more quickly because of her and I'm thankful for that. 

Finally, it was my turn. They called my number up and I was immediately a nervous wreck but, BUT I saw someone from my school and we looked at each other in surprise. I'm really just trying to find comfort by relying on familiar things. Dang, this place really did have everyone. We go up to this small little room and are asked to sing one by one. There's a few people before me. I count down. Two more people. One more... Oh. It's my turn now. 

Now if you know anything about me, you know that the minute it's my turn for something important, I screw up. My first verse starts out steady. Slightly weak but I continue to raise my volume. Then comes the part I've had trouble with up until now. That high note. I'm so nervous that my voice cracks. Horrible timing if you ask me. The staff cringe a bit. I do that awkward half smile as I continue with my song. Eventually, they ask me to stop. I think I was hyper aware of my surroundings for those two or so minutes. Apparently the staff judging me wrote something down and I immediately got excited. I thought to myself, "holy shit, did I make it?" I exit the room and try to find Vivian. I find her and tell her about how nerve wracking it was, and how I messed up. She didn't go yet but I had to leave for violin lessons so we exchanged Nstagrams and I asked her to tell me about her experience later. Oh god, even until now, I look back on that day and how nervous I was. Maybe I'm not ready to be on such a big stage yet.

I remember vividly, the staff telling us about our auditions."If you pass, there will be an email sent to you 2 weeks from now." they tell us. I probably have the most extreme panic attack I've had since I presented my grade 9 French culminating.

School is incredibly boring during those two weeks. I didn't even have volunteering so there were no emails. Then around a week and a half later, I get an email.

My hands shake as I open the email app. 

"Hey guys, just wanted to let you know that we have three cats coming in this Tuesday--"

Fuck, it's just volunteering. 

I guess the day I'm hoping for will never come, will it?

Bonus:

I look back on that day and wonder why I was so nervous. I think there were many reasons but I really hoped to get on stage an perform. What was wrong with that? My parents, society, a lot of people look down on the arts. What if you fail? You'll be another broke person, desperately searching for a job. But it's so rewarding. I get to dance and sing to the crowd. Even on a small scale, me participating in my school's shows gave me a sense of accomplishment. A feeling that, yes, I worked hard and it payed off. Now, if I could put that on a larger scale, I'm sure I could share that feeling with people. It's a long journey no matter what you do, but you can't replace the feeling of showing the world your hard work.

A/N:

Lolol I promised myself to update more frequently cuz of quarantine but I lied so--. Still, no promises. I originally had two ways that this story would go. 1) like I wrote above, Forrest's life continues as normal and 2) Forrest actually gets in and the story would end with that last chapter. Yeah, short but it is what me a year ago wrote sooo. If you wanna see that chapter I can put it up too, but this story is far from ending (or really, it's just slow updates.) 

ok bye--