Mom, I'm Bulletproof

Chapter 16.1: The Ergosphere

"Las Vegas. Now this is my kind of town," The Ergosphere said. "Except that my kind of town is the one inside the black hole embedded deep inside of me that only I can visit."

"What?" the drunk sitting next to him said.

"Never mind."

The Ergosphere took in the scene. What was once the Monument Valley Old West Casino was now Discount Inn Presents Monument Valley. Most of the Old West theming was gone, except for the occasional steer horns on the brown wood-paneled walls. Decades earlier, this was considered A-list, one of the strip's top attractions. Today, it looked run-down, dingy, and small. Where there were slot machines, though, there would be people. 

In this case, on this Tuesday afternoon, there was a smattering of senior citizens and small groups of college students milling about. A hastily-built stage had been erected at the center of the gaming floor, surrounded by the tackiest of tacky red curtains, with a sign exclaiming a special presentation later that day. The Ergosphere and the drunk next to him were the only people seated at the bar adjacent to the casino floor.

"Was the government," the drunk said. "The government been keeping me down. Coulda been a millionaire. Coulda married supermodels. But can't, all because of the government."

"And your devotion to alcohol, gambling and who knows what other sinister vices had nothing to do with it, of course?"

"Ehh!" the drunk said, waving his hand in the air. The Ergosphere wasn't sure what this gesture was supposed to mean. He assumed it was a substitute for an expletive.

The female bartender came around and asked the Ergosphere what he wanted. Her nametag read Yvette. 

"Another rum and Coke, and another vodka and water on me for my eloquent friend here," the Ergosphere said.

Yvette nodded and walked off to fix their drinks. "She got her mascara done on like spraypaint," the drunk said.

The Ergosphere tried to come up with the perfect witty retort, possibly suggesting the man apply for work at Revlon, but the perfect comedic wording escaped him. Instead, he pulled out his cell phone and clicked it on.

"Lazlo?"

"Right here, captain."

"For the millionth time, Lazlo, I'm not a captain."

"It's your ship, that makes you the captain."

"Just once I'd like you to visit without having the 'captain' conversation."

"We don't always get what we want, captain."

"What do you have to report?"

"Still no word from the Jeffersonians. They're still in hiding."

"That's expected. What else?"

"We got a distress call from the Lizard Knights of Glacier Castle. They're bracing for an attack by the six-eyed demon of the northern slope."

"That guy's a chump. The lizards don't need my help."

"Whuzzat about lizards?" the drunk said.

"Anything else?" the Ergosphere asked. "Closer to home?"

"Your pet project in London is up to no good," Lazlo said. "The Dreamsmith wrote 'Ergosphere call me' in big letters on some bedsheets and spread them out on his building's roof."

"Dammit," the Ergosphere said. "Why can't he learn to sit still?"

"We're going back to London?"

"Not yet," the Ergosphere said. "There's nothing he has to tell me that I don't already know."

"And that is?"

"The young warrior-shaman is trying to start a team. She's got the time traveler, the Dreamsmith, and now the creature from the Old Pit. They want me to join."

"Could be fun."

"Not my style. But keep an eye on him. I've got work to do."

"Sounds good. Lazlo out."

As the Ergosphere's phone clicked off, he grimaced at hearing "Lazlo out." He regretted introducing Lazlo to Earth television.

"Whuzzat?" the drunk said, having eavesdropped on the Ergosphere's side of the conversation. "Did you say time traveler?"

"I think it's time you retired to your room," the Ergosphere said as the man finished off his vodka and water.

"Ain't staying here," the drunk said. "Got a motel by the airport."

"Classy. But you've got a room here too, courtesy of yours truly."

"Your what?"

The Ergosphere tossed to money on the bar – probably far more than he owed – and helped the drunk off his barstool, through the casino, and to the elevator. 

"I don't what's the thing," the drunk mumbled. 

"You have a way with words." 

The drunk, barely aware of his own surroundings, walked in a circle around the Ergosphere as they were in the elevator. "There's got to be some kind of," he said, as if that was a complete thought.

The Ergosphere grabbed hold of the man's collar and led him down a hallway as the elevator door opened.

The Ergosphere brought the man to a hotel room, tossing him inside after fumbling with the credit card-like device that acted as a key.

"You got a mini-bar in here?" the drunk asked, looking around the Ergosphere's luxury suite.

The Ergosphere locked the door. "Pathetic."

"What are you..."

The drunk didn't get to finish his thought. The Ergosphere touched a finger to the man's forehead. This dazed the man even more than he was already dazed, so that he fell on his butt in the small hallway at the entry of the hotel room, with the bathroom on the side of him and the coat closet on the other side.

The Ergosphere placed the "Do not disturb" sign on the door and shut it. "Get up."

"What did I do to you?" The man clumsily rose to his feet, checking his nose to see if it was bleeding.

"Nothing," the Ergosphere said. "But you have information for me."

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Next: A void.