Chapter 43
SIBA
I love going to church. Church is the only place where I run too when everything seems to not make any sense, church is the only place where I find peace. I love my church, I feel comfortable there. The only person who stands in between me and my peace is my Aunt. I don't want her making church a drag for me...
Later that day Sis Phindi and I prepared ourselves for church. I was looking forward to praise and worship, it helps uplift my spirit in a way that I cannot explain. Right now, in my situation, I need to be at church more than anywhere else..
From the gate all the way through to the door they were singing one of my favorite songs, I feel something deep inside of me move. Mid week services are mostly based on Praise, Worship, and prayer. You pour your heart out to God. It's you and your God..
"Every knee shall knee shall bow, and every tongue confess
That Jesus Christ he is Lord"
NEO
My Mother decided to join us for dinner that night. It was Me, my Mom, and Mahlodi at the dinner table. Pat was eating in her room, ever since that scandal with my Mother she hasn't been herself..
Ma: I was thinking of a winter wedding, Spring wedding are overrated now
Mahlodi: We can have artificial snow
Ma: Good idea, make it a blue&white wedding with Artificial Snow
Mahlodi: I love that idea
Ma: Neo what do you think?
I looked at her..
Mahlodi: You awfully quiet is everything okay?
Me: I am not going to marry Mahlodi
Ma: Huh?
Me: Mahlodi you a wonderful woman and all that, I feel there's a guy who is going to love you the way that you deserve to be loved. Unfortunately that guy is not me, I don't wanna keep on wasting your time and giving you false hope. I don't love you and I'm sorry that I led you to believe that there could be something between us. Something that can never be
Ma: You probably still under a lot of stress because of your father's passing. You not thinking straight
Me: I am thinking straight trust me
Mahlodi: Not this again
Me: This is the last time I'm doing this to you
Ma: Who are you going to marry other than Mahlodi? Mahlodi understands us, she understands our lifestyle more than anyone else. Plus she's smart, beautiful, and educated. She's a top lawyer in her firm
Me: All those qualities don't make one a good wife
Ma: How would you know if you don't try?
Me: Trust me.. I know
I got up..
Me: Excuse Me
Mahlodi: Did I just get dumped?
Ma: I'll talk to him don't worry
KAT
I was on a call with Dante..
Me: He kicks a lot
Dante: I wish I was there to feel that
Me: Don't worry.. Maybe next time
Dante: I can't wait for him to be born
Me: There's still a lot of months left but don't worry we'll get there
Dante: If you guys need anything don't be scared to tell me
Me: I know and thank you
Dante: There's no need to thank me, we made the baby together
Me: I never thought I would enjoy my pregnancy this much
Dante: I'm glad that you enjoying it, there's nothing sad like a depressed pregnant woman
I laughed..
Dante: I have to go I'll call you again
Me: Good night
Dante: Good night
Dante and I we not together but I can see that he is warming up to me, slowly but surely..
SIBA
My worst fear came true when my Aunt asked to talk to me outside. I could refuse but I don't want her embarrassing me in front of the whole congregation..
My heart was literally beating fast..
Aunt: I was waiting for this day, the day where your Sins catch up with you. I took you in, I made you. If it wasn't for me, you would be rubbish!. Then the thanks I get is you disrespecting me like that? Do you know why things didn't workout for you? It's because you didn't get my blessings!. You thought you were now better than us, but God doesn't sleep. He answered my prayers. Look at my child now, things are working out for her. I don't know why you thought that you were going to make it, you were cursed since from birth. Your mother's womb was rotten, yiko unesdina. Even your boyfriend dumped you because that curse, not even God can save you from it.. Uyisichitho! Uyisiphoxo! And you will always be that no matter what. What made you think that you could top my Daughter? I am a praying woman and I pray for my Daughter! Wena your Mother failed to do that for you. All that she used to do was drink her life away, you are useless just like that. I wish you suffer until you see noway out but to commit suicide. I'll never forgive you for what you did, you couldn't even give us R1. After everything I did for you, after putting you through school. No man is even going to love you forget! You will only get boys who will play you like a tennis game, you will only wish to be loved and get married. You will only witness my Daughter getting married plus she's involved with a very rich Men. How can that rich boy love someone like you, someone who is below his standards. You even swore at his Mom, his own Mother! To show that you are a piece of rubbish! You deserve everything that's happening to you. I swear nothing is going to go well with you forget!
She spat on the ground...
Aunt: Sies!
She walked back inside..
MAHLODI
Lorraine: Don't worry I'll talk to her
Me: He loves her Lorraine
Lorraine: No he doesn't
Me: Please don't insult my intelligence
Lorraine: Neo can't be with that girl, he knows very well that I'll disown him. I own the will remember? If he dares goes back to her it'll be the end of him. I'll take everything from him, Neo won't be able to survive without money and this life. He doesn't know any other life other than this one, he would never choose her over all of this! That I promise you. That girl will die first before she steps her foot in my house or be with my Son, I'll make sure of that
She put her hand on my shoulder..
Lorraine: I will fix this, I promise!
SIBA
There was no point in me staying for the whole service. I thought that I had grown immune to my Aunt treating me like this but I haven't. Her words broke me, words cut deep. Words changes everything. They dim your light, they destroy your world, your peace and sanity. I didn't even tell Sis Phindi that I was leaving, I took my Bible and left.
I kept my eyes down as I walked back home, tears clouding my sight. The noises being made on the streets confused me more, my heart was beating very slow. My heartbeat was faint. She killed the emotional part of me, the most sensitive part of a human being. The You that resides deep within you.
As I was walking I tripped and fell, my Bible was tossed far from where I fell. I didn't have enough strength to get up, with tears still streaming down I crawled to get my Bible.
NEO
I laid back on the bed staring at her picture. I thought of inboxing her but what do I say? I dated back to all the words I said to her and how I treated her that day.. When I dragged her out all the way to the gate. I have never embarrassed a woman like that, at least not a woman that I claim to Love..
