chapter eighteen

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Jungkook had been in a hospital before. He had seen death before. Hell , he had been near death himself more than once but nobody could prepare him for the sight of his Father, a man he had come to despise now subjected to nothing more than a machine that pumped oxygen, while another made sure his heart was still [barely] beating.

The boy felt his nose twitch at the sight of it all, a mound of emotions that had been piling up for years causing uncomfortable knots to twist in his stomach.

This was a man who had berated him, kicked him out, swore at him and forced him into a world he was unsure of.  This was a selfish man, one who put himself and his business first always.  But this man, was still his Father, and that could never be changed.

This man had held him at birth, lifted him on his shoulders when Jungkook wanted to see a stage that was too far away, this man had visited him during parents weekend at college, showing him around the alma matter with nothing but pride on his face at the idea that his son was here as well.  This was a man who had come from nothing, created everything.  He was vicious but smart and now he was like every other sad son of a bitch about to exit Earth. Strange how everyone ends up the same.

"You okay?" Jisoo appeared behind him, two cups of coffee in her hand as they both stared through the glass door at the man who had caused them much more pain than any normal parent would have or should have.

Jungkook wasn't.  He wasn't sure he would ever be but he lied, "Fine, and you?"

She had remnants of makeup down her face still, a twisted expression of pain and sadness, "I will be."

He nodded curtly, "Did you get a hold of Mom yet?"

Jisoo shook her head, "I'm not sure where she's at.  I think she'd want to be here when we pull the plug."

"That's morbid Soo!"

"Yet accurate. I don't make the rules!" Her humor was dry and lifeless, an attempt to lighten the mood as they watched the man's fragile chest rise and fall.

"Did you call Tae?" Jungkook felt his hand slip into hers, guilt ridden at even the mention of her fiancé.

"He's here. Outside having a cigarette- hospitals make him uncomfortable!"

"Don't they make everyone that way?" He frowned, pondering, "When did he get back from Japan?"

She shrugged like it was nothing, "Late last night. He's exhausted today, running on merely a few hours. In fact, could you bring him some coffee? I'm going to..." Her breath hitched, "Sit with Dad..."

Jungkook nodded, a pang of guilt from the butterflies that crept in his stomach at the sight of seeing Tae. He kissed his sister's head, making sure she settled in before he headed out to the waiting room.

His eyes trailed over each person- an old woman holding a plastic bag, a child who sobbed mercilessly, a man with paper towel wrapped around his finger. 

He didn't spot who he was looking for amongst the crowd.  He wondered if the boy was still outside. The glass doors led him to a paved driveway, a few patches of grass and benches scattered about. He was grateful for the fresh air that mid-afternoon had brought, grateful to get away from everything happening inside.

"Horrible place, isn't it?" That familiar deep tone dove right into the ears of Jungkook, dancing about like the sweetest symphony, "How are you doing?"

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