Fibro Life: An Insight

Rollercoaster Ride

Life has been good the last few weeks. Pain was an all time low, weather was stable, eating was clean and weight was lost.

Then came the signs...
Skin felt hot to the touch, I started to eat less food and crave more snacks to keep me going, my sleep got disrupted and the weather became unpredictable again. That is when the pain arrives.

Searing like a hot iron poker, it pushed its way into my body, no warning or reason, no way to make it stop. It causes my legs and arms to tingle and sting before having no feeling at all.

My breathing becomes heavier and it's hard to force my eyes to focus on daily tasks or even to see what I have in front of my face.

Thoughts are fuzzy and out of order, my words a mixed bag of nonsense that is hard to get out, they feel like sandpaper in my throat.

I become distant from others and from myself. Feeling envious of those who can just do things on a whim instead of planning every second or self-doubting if an activity is going to leave them bedridden or a conversation cause extreme fatigue and fog. I see my life slip away with all my old dreams now a distant memory with no intent to catch, I could not hold them even if I caught one.

The nights are the worst, the brain goes one of two paths each night:
1: We can think of nothing and focus on little so that the pain is more evident and constant than ever. Do you need to pee? Yes you need to pee, get up, walk to bathroom, just kidding you don't need to pee. And the cycle continues.
2: Hey, remember that mistake you made when you were 7? How about that conversation last year? The person you met last month? The text you sent last week? The email you got last night? Oh I know, the food you ate this morning? No? What about the plans you have for tomorrow? Don't worry you won't have the energy to do them anyway!

This nightly cycle become harder and louder during a flare and can come without warning.

Be kind to those with fibro, chronic fatigue or chronic pain. They fight more than you know and feel more than they say.