hi. taeyong

sixty five

- miyeong

"Ha Ri's been on my mind the entire time." were the last words I wished to hear.

Numerous feelings gushed out of my heart. Hearing this was difficult for me to take in. A few seconds after that confession, my ears wish to unhear it. My heart refuses to believe it.

With a broken laugh, I managed to spit out some questions.

Why didn't you tell me? We're you just using me to get over her? Was I just a replacement for you? Was I never good enough to be like her? Why did you lie to me?

Yet... a part of me wishes he was joking. Maybe he had a valid reason. Maybe just maybe... he could defend himself right now and prove to me that his intentions were purely unselfish. I directly took a long look at him - examining his face.

He bit his lip, his cute dimples showing, his eyebrows furrowed, his eyes fixated on his empty peach soda drink.

"Did you really love me?" I asked.

Jaehyun, who remained silent, stared coldly at the ground. Surely, he could sense the intensity of our conversation at the moment.

My heart shattered into pieces. I felt nothing but anger, frustration, and disappointment. Without thinking, I quickly stood up and walked away. Jaehyun began calling my name, asking for a minute, suddenly begging for forgiveness.

"Miyeong please listen to me." he walked towards my turned back, eventually catching up with my pace. "I don't mean to hurt you like this but please listen to me right now."

He stretches his right arm and opens his palm, reaching out to grab my shoulder. Instinctively, I slapped his hand away without taking a small glance at him. I mean, I couldn't even dare to look at him right now.

"Miyeong, I'm sorry... I'm really really sorry. I do love you it's just that I don't know how to process my feelings properly right now and in the end I hurt you- it wasn't my intention to hurt you." he says loudly, walking right by me. His convincing tone and hand gestures were giving me different signals that I should not respond to.

I can't look at him.

I can't speak to him.

I don't want to hurt him... even if he hurt me. I really did love him.

Memories began to reflow on my mind at such a bad timing. I couldn't help but to remember the happiest moments I had with his untrue feelings towards me.

As these memories began to resurface, a sudden image of Taeyong appears. His tall and slender figure overshadowing people, his black hoodies he always wears whenever we meet up, his love for sweets, his never-ending discussion about games, his constant guidance and help he's given me throughout the time I met him, his kind and gentle manners, his warm smile.

Abruptly, I stopped on my tracks. Jaehyun stopped as well and grabbed me by my two shaky shoulders. He gently places his hand on my chin and raises it up. We both looked at each other deeply. He apologized again, and again, and again, and again.

I remained silent - refusing to speak or to cry.

"You've been nothing but a wonderful person and a lovable girlfriend and I just- took things for granted. I messed everything up I know but... please give me another chance." he says, "I will change. For you, me, us. I'll become someone who you want me to be."

"Do you like black hoodies?"

"Huh? I guess I do."

"Do you love sweets?"

"I like them..."

"Video games... do you like video games?"

"It's not really my thing."

"Will you stop confusing your feelings for Ha Ri with me?"

"I... I'll do my best. But if you give me this chance, I'll exert 100 percent of my effort I promise."

"Will you be there for me no matter what?"

"Of course I will. No hesitation."

...like Taeyong?

In a split second, I see a silhouette approaching us. Unsure, I planted my feet on the ground - wishing to avoid that person. I glanced at Jaehyun to see his eyes, wide in shock, muttering the word "hyung".

I looked back and saw Taeyong standing behind us.