Hatred, Chances, and Other Things

Chapter 1

"When we're out in a crowd

Laughing loud and nobody knows why

When we're lost at a club, getting drunk

And you give me that smile"

It sucks to think how one song can make you remember and feel things. Imagine how one fucking song can make you blue in a split second. I hate this song, which had served as the soundtrack to my love story. I despised the way it was made for us.

"Going home in the back of a car

And you hand touches mine

When we're done making love

And you look up and give me those eyes"

I can recall exactly the past seven years that happened to me. That year when my life completely fucked up. One minute, you feel like you have everything you could've ever wanted, but then in a blink of an eye everything just fell apart. I fell in love so young, I was so naïve that I had no idea that the person with whom I fell in love was also the one who broke my heart the most. I was blind, and he was pretentious. And things just fell apart.

"'Cause all of the small things that you do

Are what remind me why I fell for you

And when we're apart, and I'm mis-"

I didn't want to listen to it any longer. When the plane touched down, I paused the music. I glanced at my watch and It's 5 a.m., I still have to plan my life out. I called someone up. My go-to person. It rang three times before she picked up which is understandable since I'm pretty sure she's still asleep, and I feel bad for waking her up.

"Who's this?" she yawned on the other end of the line. I imagined her eyes are still shut and her mind is still blank.

"Good morning. Open your door, bitch."

"What? This better not be a joke. Talagang makakapatay ako ng wala sa oras kung sino ka mang tumatawag ng madaling araw!" She didn't probably realize that it was me.

The line remained silent for a few moments before the door in front of me opened. Sophia appears in front of me, wearing her pajamas and squinting her eyes. Her eyes widened as she realized who she was looking at.

"What the fuck?! Is it who I think it is? W-why didn't you tell me you were coming back?" Her mouth opened in disbelief. Sophia, the ever-loud, annoying and the only person I didn't cut off. She's the only one who knows whether or not I've returned to this country.

"Ingay mo. Won't you let me in?" She let me in by opening the door wide. Before settling on her couch, I unloaded my luggage and removed my coat.

"Why are you so rude? It's been 7 years since I last saw you. We video chat and all but you didn't have the nerve to tell me you were coming home? What disrespectful behavior is this? I could've picked you up from the airport," she whined.

"I didn't want to disturb you and besides this was unplanned either. I didn't even tell myself I will come back here." I joked. She clung to me.

"Are you here for good?" she asked.

"When my life here will turn out well, why not right?" I lied. I know I will stay here for good. My life in New York turned out well and amazing but I wasn't happy. I was empty. I felt unfulfilled.

"That's good to know. What are your plans?"

"Well honestly, I have none." I shrugged.

"Well, that's surprising coming from you. Knowing you, everything you do is planned. You dislike spontaneous situations." She's right. But honestly, the only thing I have in mind right now is I am home.