It's a Sign of the Times

Chapter Nine: Where Do We Go from Here?

My breath catches in my throat. His shirt is wrinkled and he has a drink dangling loosely from his fingers. My attention catches on his hands which are clearly well manicured. He has a nice collection of rings on both hands which sounds like something that would feed Jobeth's hand fetish and i store this information in the back of my mind to tell her later.
"I think so. I like your friends," I say softly. "And your sister is really sweet."
"Gemma's well...a gem," he laughs. In the dark hallway, I can see the shadow of his hair fall over his eyes. "I'm really happy to have some family with me on tour. Although, my boys are like family to me. I'd do anything for them."
"I can tell," I say, leaning against my own wall. "You guys seem super close."
"We are. It's been a wild ride, but I'm so lucky to have them and to have this opportunity. I never...i never thought this would be my life, you know? It's just never what I imagined when I was in school. I thought I'd be working a 9-5 at some office job I hate in Manchester for my entire life. I don't know. It's just not what I expected I guess but I don't mean to sound ungrateful because this is the most incredible thing I could ever think of..." he drifts off.
I nod. "I can't say I understand, because quite frankly I don't, but I can imagine at least. It's got to be so crazy having to jump into something as new as the music industry."
"It really is. And it's so stressful sometimes. Our days are just absolutely jam-packed all the time and things are so hectic. You'd think the fans would be the best part of it but can I be honest with you for a moment?" He leans forward from his place on the wall ever so slightly as if he's letting me in on some big secret so I nod. "Sometimes the fans are the worst part."
I look at him in confusion. "What do you mean? I kind of assumed they'd be the most rewarding part."
He drags a hand over his face and takes a sip of his drink. "No they are, it's just...it's hard to explain. Like they have all these expectations and I don't want to disappoint them, you know? I want to be everything they want and give them everything they want and more. I just don't want to come up short. So when I say they're the worst part I don't actually mean it. They are the best part. They're the best but the expectations are the worst I guess."
I look at him standing across from me and I'm surprised. And I feel bad for being surprised. Harry has a depth that I didn't expect and he just opened up with me and I've only known the guy for what, two hours? This is a new level of vulnerability that I've never experienced. Not even with Adam. A kind of intimacy, so personal, that I would never be able to look at him the same.
"I kind of get what you're saying in a weird way. I feel the same way about my parents," I say slowly. "I don't want to disappoint them but sometimes it feels like no matter what i do I'm going to come up short." I look at my hands and suddenly he's in front of me.
"Do you want to find an empty room to talk in so we don't have to stand out in the hallway?" He suggests.
I nod and we set off towards the door furthest away from the bathroom which appears to be a game room from the outside. I crack open the door with Harry behind me, waiting to see if the coast is clear. On the bed, I see Gemma and Ashton staring back at me and Gemma frantically waves me away, clearly pleading me with her eyes to not tell Harry.
"Is anyone in there?" Harry asks, reaching over me to push the door open further.
Gemma's actions grow more frantic and she and Ashton jump off the bed.
"Uhhh," I panic and jump in front of him. "It's not a game room, let's find somewhere else."
"Don't be silly," he says, but I root myself in front of the door.
"No really, Harry. Let's just find another room. Or better yet, go back downstairs," I plead.
"I was really wanting to spend some one-on-one time with you though," he says hopefully and he puts his hand on the door above my head and begins pushing it open.
Before I even know what I'm doing, I grab him by the collar of his shirt and reach up to kiss him. His hand falls from the door and lands on my lower back, drawing me closer to him and his other hand finds it's way to rest on my neck.
I only have one thought when I pull away from him.
Where do I go from here?