Bitter Desire

Desire

Donghun stood beyond the mass of bodies that had gathered in the middle of the crowded city street.

It was his third time standing in this exact spot this week despite it only being Friday evening.

In nothing more than his uniform, he wrapped his blazer tighter around himself as the wind blew a chill through the air.

Gaze leaping from person to person, he took note of the different personalities that surrounded him. Business-men and women that paused in curiosity while returning home, couples passing by as they hopped from store to store, young girls that squealed as they hit record on their phones and snapped photographs on their expensive cameras.

And on the other side of those lenses, stood a boy Donghun had become painfully infatuated with.

For two weeks now, whenever this specific route was on his agenda while returning home from the academy, he would stop to listen to the boy he had wrongfully accused and assaulted.

Standing before one of the largest crowds gathered by a busker in this specific part of the city, was Junhee.

And for the third time this week, the boy sang to many, pouring every ounce of emotion possible into the song that fell beautifully from his rose tinted lips.

It wasn't a song he could recognise this evening, and yet hearing it from Junhee somehow made it feel as if he had known it his whole life. It was nostalgic, almost.

He was good. Really good. Donghun could remember the day he stumbled apon the boy on his way home the Friday evening two weeks prior to today. His delicate, charismatic voice that fell upon his ears was captivating and the elder couldn't help but stop to settle the curiosity that loomed.

As his eyes fell upon the boy he had practically abused the month before, he stood in awe for the rest of his performance, hidden within the crowd.

That day, resulted in another.

And then another.

And now, here he was. Two weeks and seven busking sessions later. Hopelessly consumed with desire for a boy that he barely knew. One he was convinced would never want anything to do with him, ever again.

A boy that he would never be able to be close to.

A boy that he could never love.

He couldn't, because Junhee wasn't his. He can't be.

Not ever.

That thought was more painful than anything Donghun had ever endured, because he knew it was the truth.