I am currently sitting on my bed in my room. That lady's words were ringing in my head.
I never thought that bubbly and cheerful guy would have these kind of thoughts. He was hiding all this behind that joyful mask.
"For his birthday his father would give money to a servant and tell them to buy whatever toy he wants. When they ask him he would stare at the money and cry silently. He would tell them to use the money for themselves."
"I can still remember what he said clearly. "What i want can't be bought with money.". He stopped playing with toys when he was only ten. He would immerse himself with books trying to impress his parents."
"What did he want for his birthday?" I asked impatiently.
"For his parents to hug him and tell him that they love him." She smiled sadly.
I was speechless. I didn't know what to say.
"How can i grant that wish?"
" Ming told me you don't really like showing affection. He said you don't really admit it but he can tell you love him just as much as he does. He would laugh when telling me about the times when you blush whenever he's affectionate or tell you how much he loves you." She chuckled.
I couldn't help but blush at her words.
" But can you say it to him directly? He might be able to tell from your actions but saying it upright is a big deal itself. He will never tell you this but he acts like clingy child because he's craving for affection. For acceptance. For recognition. For someone to love him."
" And tomorrow is the day he's most vulnerable. He will lock himself in his room and won't let anyone see that side of him. During his birthday every year he would stare at his phone hoping for one call or even a text. Just those three words. But it never happens. And he ends up crying himself to sleep every time."
"So please. Even once is enough. Just tell him how much you love him. He needs it badly. Please just grant that one wish of his." She was was full on crying at this point.
My eyes also brimmed with tears. Guilt crawled up inside me. How did i not see this before?
I was pulled out my thoughts by the sound of my phone ringing. It was Beam.
"Hey did you get the cake?" he asked.
"No. I couldn't find a good one." I said.
"Owh? Then what are you going to do?"
"I'll grant his birthday wish."
"Oooohh... Make sure to use protection." I could practically hear his smirk over the phone.
"Oh shut up." I hung up on him.
I was really nervous. I'm not used to showing affection. I always blush and end up sulking whenever i try. But i had to it this time.
Ming always tells me how much he loves me. I need to do the same for him. I can't be selfish and expect him to always say it to me.
I looked at the clock on the wall. It was 11:00. One hour until midnight.
I went to the bathroom to take a shower. By the time i finished dressing up, it was already past midnight.
I quickly grabbed my phone and the spare key to his room he had given to me before.
Knowing him, if i knocked he would immediately put on a tough act before opening the door. So i decided to use the spare key instead.
I took a deep breath and slowly opened the door.
My heart broke when i saw him. Tears formed in my eyes. I covered my mouth with my palm to stop the sobs which were threatening to escape.
He was sitting on the bed leaning on the headboard staring at his phone with tears running down his face. He looked like he was waiting for something to pop up on his phone. Judging by how much his face is swollen he's been crying for a while.
He still didn't notice that i had entered the room.
I took off my shoes and went towards him. I slowly got on the bed and wrapped my arms around him tightly.
He was surprised at my action. "P-P'kit?"
He wiped his tears hurriedly.
"I love you." I whispered in his ear.
He froze.
"I love you so much Ming." I repeated and tightened my arms even more.
His body started trembling. I could tell he was still trying to hold himself from crying. Small whimpers managed to escape his lips though.
"Let it out. Don't hold it in. It will only hurt more." I pulled him so now his head was on my shoulder.
That was all it took for him to break down.
He wrapped his arms around my waist tightly and started crying loudly. His shoulders heaved as he mewled.
"AAAAAAAHHH!!" He screamed as he clutched my shirt with all his might.
I tightened the embrace and stroked his hair gently while rubbing soothing circles on his back.
I couldn't stop the tears that escaped my eyes.
"I love you. I love you with all my heart." I kept repeating those phrases over and over again until he calmed down.
Around two hours passed. His sobs had calmed down. His voice was sore from screaming so much. He was still hiccuping. His body was still trembling.
I slowly adjusted our position so now we were lying on the bed with his face buried in my neck. I pulled the duvet to cover us.
"P'...." He called me softly.
"I'm here." I rubbed his back.
"Thank you..." He whispered.
"No need to thank me. Next time if you have a wish just tell me. I'll grant it no matter what it is." I kissed the top of his head.
He didn't reply. I could tell from his steady breathing that he had fallen asleep. He was still clutching my shirt tightly. I didn't mind though. I had no intention of leaving him alone.
That night, i learned two very important lessons.
1: never judge a book by it's cover. No matter how happy a person might seem on the outside, they might be going through things you could never imagine.
2: Always tell your dear ones how much you love them. Just showing with your actions isn't enough. Sometimes you need to put it into words.
