Good bye Dear Husband

13. The beginning of destruction?

Dear Husband,

Do you remember, the days when there were discussion on food too? Most of them initiated be me......

Three out of five members loved non vegetarian food..... And you used to tell me that it is necessary to get some extra nutrition,apart from dal, rice and veggies we're having every day, and it was also cooked at someone else's place, because I denied to cook it.....

I asked you that if you're eating something extra out of your daily nutrition, I shall be provided something else too....... I requested you to bring me some paneer or anything else from the restaurants you and your family so graciously bragged about.....

I asked you that even if you're not taking me out for a date, or dinner, atleast you could bring something to make it a special dinner for me......

But suddenly, everything I asked was considered wrong, it started with small things and slowly covered almost all the food items......

I didn't understood how and why,...... I was confused, it's wrong to eat outside food, agreed, but you could bring me raw I could've cooked something,
Then, it was wrong to eat bread, as it was prepared in unhygienic ways, I shouldn't eat toasts, I shouldn't eat biscuits, then what was I supposed to do?

I was never an outgoing person, I could count on my fingers as to how many times I'd visited a restaurant before my marriage, it's NONE. I only went with my friends to college cafeteria and sometimes, to food outlets for fun........

You were the one who took me for my first movie, for my first proper restaurant dinner, who told me I'm free to cook and eat whatever I like, and said that it's normal in your family..... So, I changed everything......

It's okay, I understand it now.......

A person who's working a good job earned a lot of money, it must be too difficult for you to have asked money from your parents to do things for me, I never asked from my parents too......

I thought I was your responsibility, which was completely wrong of me....... I should've tried to make myself more independent, maybe could've found a job....... But you wanted me to look after your family, and I'd not thought much about it......

What could I say, I was in this wonderland, where you were my prince Charming,........ But life is not a fairy tale..... Took me long enough to reach here.......

Do you remember the time, when my mother called yours to fix a date for my vidai so that the gauna ceremony could be performed? (It's the second vidai of the bride from her parents place.)

But then she said that I'm looking after the whole house, and I can't be sent, she'd told a lot of things about me, complaining that I'm demanding for separate food items, without clarifying that it was only for those days when you had your non-veg food cooked.

That day it went from bad to ugly, words were said, demeaning my parents, you slapped me on that day and your parents and brother supported you saying that just send her back to her home, as if I was just an item......

I had called the police, when you got to know about it, you started crying out for the honour of your family....
That, nothing of this sort would happen ever again in my life,......

And like the fool I'm, I'd forgiven you and called the police off........

You made me apologize for forgiveness from your family, that if I didn't do that they'll never let me live with them, and you're in no position to support me after leaving the house........

I guess that was the beginning of destruction of our relationship.........

I FORGIVE MYSELF, for still trusting you after all that had happened........

For thinking that one day, someday, you'll stand up for me......

That you'll look after me, as I was supposed to be looked after.........