Good bye Dear Husband

22. I refuse.

Dear Husband,

Do you remember we'd almost lost contact after June. But as I hadn't brought much things with me, I returned back during Ganeshotsav holidays.

I'd requested you to return my gas connection.

I'd brought some of our clothes and his toys, and I'd travelled alone. That was the last time I'd seen your father.

You'd called me to return my mobile, and had asked me to let you talk to my child.

I brought him to meet you, I guess I was expecting you to explain your behaviour, but you didn't even talk to me.

You'd called again, and I went to meet you alone....

You were angry about not bringing him this time, and I'd told you to stay away from him.

I'd told you that if you are unable to fulfill even the smallest and basic needs of a child, even his education, then you don't deserve to be his father.

A person who just had donated his sperm, will always be the sperm donor and never a father.

I'd told you not to contact me again.

I'd decided then, I was going to change my job, the place where I live, so you'll never be able to reach out to me even if you wanted.

Do you remember, you'd sent me and him a dress for his b'day?

His was worn by him, but mine is at your place.....

Do you remember, when you'd called saying your father was ill, and I need to come to you?

I'd refused.... You were angry, your relatives and friends started calling me but I'd straight out refused to go.....

I couldn't find a reason to..... No one in that family ever supported me, but you'd used and abused me in every possible way. I'd sacrificed my job twice to be with you, but all was in vain..

When you couldn't even be a father to my child, then how could you think that I'll leave everything to be at your disposal, everytime you face a problem.

And then,

Suddenly one day you'd called me to say, that you want a divorce because there was someone in your life. Amd as I'd refused to run back to you, you need someone to share your life with.

It was always you.... Your life, your family, your parents, your finances, your support..... But I guess it was my time to say the same. When I did it I was the selfish cunning girl, who was after your money....

Where's all this money you're talking about... Because my account statements deny everything.....

Your brother and his wife called me to say that you're having a possible affair with someone and to just visit once to your home.

I'd told you to prepare the divorce papers, but you'd said, that you wanted to reconcile the relationship again.....

In October 2019, I went to your home back, to get my gas connection, but was again denied.

Your mother had said that if I refuse to return, she'll get you married this year.

But you'd said that you seriously want to reconcile. I'd again demanded you to save some money every month for my child to prove that you're serious this time.... You'd agreed. You'd also returned my jewellery then.....

From the month of July 2019, you'd started depositing some money in my account, I don't know whether it was for the child or you were returning my money which you'd taken.

I FORGIVE MYSELF,

for trying to find a silver lining in my cloud everytime you did something for me.

For thinking, you'd ever respect me, or treat me the way I deserve to be treated.